Till death and beyond
by SnapeRulesMaraudersDrool
Summary: A surprise on Valentine's day in sixth year after the defeat of Voldemort will rock Harry's life forever. warning contains slash HP/SS, LL/NL, GW/BZ, HG/RW, warn non con
1. the soulmate bowl

It was Valentine's Day of Harry and his friends' sixth year of school. Voldemort had been destroyed at Halloween that year when he had attacked a group of students at Hogsmeade. Aurors and students had fought death eaters and while some had been lost on their side, Harry defeated Voldemort once and for all. The school had mourned the loss of the six students who had died and moved on. The school was holding a Valentine's Day celebration that year.

Harry walked in with his friends but felt alone. 'The boy who lived but the boy who can't get a date.' He grumbled to himself.

Neville and Luna. Hermione and Ron. Dean and Hannah. Draco and Pansy. Blaise and Ginny. Seamus had been one of those killed as well as Collin Creevey, Theodore Nott, and three younger students of other houses. 

Hermione smiled at Harry. "You never know, you might find your true love here tonight."

Harry laughed at that. "If I have not found them here at the school yet, why would you think I'd find her now?"

Luna beamed at Harry. "Perhaps you are just looking in the wrong direction Harry."

He felt uncomfortable. He had never come out of the closet to his friends but some how he knew that Luna knew he was gay. He was always worried about how people would react if they knew.

Draco came over. "Come on Harry. I'll set you up with someone. There are a few Slytherins without a date." And in a quiet whisper. "A few blokes among them."

Harry tried not to pale visibly at that. Draco and Harry had become friends in the past school year as the Malfoys came to their side. "Thanks Dray. I'll consider."

Dumbledore had come into the room and he was levitating what looked like a huge stone basin into the center of the room. He motioned for everyone to gather around him and called for silence.

"This is an ancient tradition not performed in years. One looks into the waters of the bowl and sees if they see their own face or someone else."

Hermione whispered. "It's the soul mate bowl. If you seem someone else you are meant to be married to them."

Albus had heard. "Miss Granger is correct. Those who have seen themselves in the bowls will find themselves drawn to each other until they are bonded and consummate."

He instructed all the students to come forward. Most came as couples and looked into the waters. "Those who see someone else should stand by their mate."

Harry was reluctant to go but he was pressed forward by Draco. "Come on mate, perhaps you'll see the bloke you are destined to be wed to."

Harry looked into the water and he gasped. Staring back at him was Snape. "Mr Potter you can return to your friends. I'll speak to you in the morning."

Harry returned to his friends and did not tell any of them what he had seen in the water. Many people were making jokes at who he had seen. Hermione and Ron had seen each other as had Ginny and Blaise, and Neville and Luna. The three stood with five other couples who had seen each other.

"The laws of magic dictate these couples must be wed within the end of one year's time. The married couples when bonded will be given rooms together."

The couples were all smiling and Ron turned to Hermione. "Mum will be ecstatic. She already sees you as a member of the family."

Hermione smiled. "Perhaps she'll allow us to marry in the gardens this summer."

Ron was smiling until he noticed his sister snogging with Blaise. "Come on stop that you two."

Blaise smiled. "Hey your little sister is my soul mate. Get used to it."

Ginny nodded and turned to Hermione. "Perhaps we can have a double wedding."

Hermione liked the idea. "Hey we could make it a triple and include Luna and Neville."

Soon the three girls were talking excitedly about wedding plans and their three boyfriends had also gathered together to moan about how they had been engaged for a few minutes and the girls already had their lives seemingly planned out for them. Harry's mind was on his own revealed soul mate.

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Severus was pacing in the headmaster's office the next morning. He had been informed of what Harry had seen and he had been instructed himself to look in the bowl and had the same results as Harry had. He remember going through the ceremony in sixth year. He had been dating Lily at the time. Lily had seen James though and Severus had seen no one. Now he knew why.

"You can't possibly mean for me to go through with this." Severus finally burst out.

Albus nodded his head. "You know what'll happen if you two are not bonded within a years time."

Severus knew all to well. "I am prepared to die"

"But are you prepared to kill Harry as well? You know he'll die as well."

Severus shook his head. He knew he would not let the boy die. He already felt the bond between himself and Harry. "No." He said grudgingly.

There was a knock at the door that interrupted any further comment and when Albus called for the person to enter Harry walked in. When he saw Snape his face went white and he looked at the ground.

"Mr Potter it seems that Severus also sees you in the water."

Harry looked up. "But that means that we would have to..."

Albus nodded. "You'll have to wed."

Harry was shaking at the thought. "Is there any way out of this sir?"

Albus sighed. "No boy. Unfortunately there is not. And I have further bad news for both of you."

Severus glared at Albus. "What else could you possibly have to tell us?"

"It seems that your bond is moving quicker. I can see you two are already responding to each other's presence." Albus explained.

Harry hated to admit it but he could feel certain warmth from the other man. Severus snarled. "So?"

"You two will need to be married within the next week. I would say the sooner the better."

Harry felt faint and sunk into a chair. "Married to him, in a week?"

Snape looked at the boy. "Don't think I'm any happier then you are about this farce of a situation."

Albus nodded for Snape to take a seat. "I'll perform the ceremony tonight. You must each choose a witness. Harry you'll move to the dungeons with Snape."

Harry couldn't handle being in the room with each other any more. "Can I please be excused?"

Albus nodded. "Pack your trunk. I'll have an elf bring it down to the dungeons for you. You and your chosen witness will be here at 7pm."

Harry just nodded his head and fled from the room. How was he ever going to tell his friends that he was to wed Snape? Who was he to choose? He knew his friends would know soon anyways as they would notice he was sleeping in the dungeons with Snape.

He found Draco and his friends outside. He took a deep breath and quickly rambled off what had happened ending with "And it has to be done tonight."

Ron freaked. "You're going to marry Snape? How can anyone make you do that?"

Hermione shook her head sadly. "Well if they are truly soul mates they must be destined to be together."

Harry felt uncomfortable and fled from them. Luna followed him though as he went inside and when he was sitting in a niche she came and sat down next to him.

"Harry" she said.

He looked at Luna. He had been close to her since fifth year. "Luna, I just need to be alone."

Luna did not leave. "Harry we both know you're interested in men. I think Snape will be good for you. The bowl knows what it shows."

Harry looked at her. "Do you really believe that?"

She nodded. "I have a bit of the seeress powers from my mum. I know you'll be happy Harry."

He rested his head on her shoulder a moment and then spoke. "Luna, would you be my witness tonight?"

Luna was surprised. "Why not Ron or one of his brothers? Normally it is a male you would choose."

Harry looked at her. "Normally I would be marrying a woman."

Luna shook her head. "This is not uncommon in our world. Men can even have babies Harry."

Harry had known this. "Luna you're the only one who understands how I feel right now. I would be honoured if you would stand by me."

She smiled. "I would suggest Draco as I know he understands to, but I will guess he will stand for his godfather as Lucius is away on business."

Harry had thought of that as well. His mind had thought of Draco when he found out of the wedding but Draco was Severus' godson and the easiest possible person for Severus to ask to stand up for him.

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Watching Harry flee Severus turned to Albus.

"Why didn't you tell the boy the rest of it?" Severus asked.

"There is no need to worry the boy Severus. He is willing to marry you." Albus said.

Severus noticed the old man was holding back. "What aren't you telling me?'

Albus sighed. "Unfortunately your bond is a full bond. It needs to be consummated right away. After its been consummated you'll need to have physical contact as much as possible, if apart for more then three days it would be like torture."

Severus had known this might happen. "I can't force the boy to consummate with me. I won't until he is ready."

Albus felt pained to say this but Severus needed to understand. "The bond will cause pain until it's done. It will get worse and worse until it drives you insane or kills you."

Severus stared. "I am used to pain."

"I know you are but Harry is not. It will intensify every passing day until it feels like he is under a constant cruciatus curse."

"How long do we have?"

"Maybe a few weeks but he'll start to feel the results within a few days."

Severus sunk back into the chair behind him. He was attracted to the young man and could see having sex with him but he could not bring himself to force the boy. He knew Harry was strong, perhaps he could resist it. Harry had beaten the odds many times before.

"You should go and prepare yourself for the wedding. I will officiate but have you an idea for a witness?"

Severus nodded and stood up. "Lucius is away on business. I assume Draco will be willing to stand in for him."

Severus left the room and walked to find his godson Draco. When he saw Draco he knew that Harry had told his friends. Draco had a look of shock and contemplation on his face when he came up.

"Is it true?"

Severus nodded. "It's all true."

Draco smiled "I know Uncle Sev the way you look at him."

He informed Draco of the rest of the conversation that Harry had missed. Draco went pale. "Harry is gay. He won't be too against this."

Severus wished that his godson would be right but he didn't think he was. "Your father is out of town. Would you stand for me?"

Draco nodded. "I know Harry has chosen Luna as his."

"I'm surprised I would have thought ht would call the werewolf to stand for him."

Draco shook his head. "Remus has been in France recovering from injuries since that battle. I think he is also concerned at how his new godfather would react."

Severus nodded "At least I can count on him being more reasonable when he returns then Black would have been."

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Harry walked into Professor Dumbledore's office a minute before he had to be there. He was dressed in a new pair of dress robes he had received for Christmas. He held Luna's hand for moral support. He remembered seeing her the first time on the train; he would never have suspected how close he would feel to her.

Luna whispered to him "Harry remember what I said. It won't be too bad."

Harry tried to smile at her. "At least you and Neville will be happy when you are bonded."

"I think Neville and I will fight over who is able to have you as their witness at our wedding."

Harry had to smile at that. "You might have to compete if you have that triple wedding. Ron and Hermione might both want me as well."

Albus saw them enter and smiled. "Miss Lovegood I must say it's a bit odd for a female witness for a man in his wedding."

She smiled "Harry is like a brother to me and I could not refuse his request."

Albus motioned for them to stand in front of him and next to Severus. Harry was not surprised of course to see Draco standing next to his godfather. Harry felt a slight pang that Remus was not here.

Albus motioned and Severus grabbed one of Harry's hands tightly in his own. Albus had decided to make it a short ceremony for both their sakes.

"Do you Severus Salazar Snape take Harold James Potter as your bonded soulmate?"

"Yes"

"Do you Harold James Potter take Severus Salazar Snape as your bonded soulmate?"

Harry was a bit slower to respond but said "Yes"

It was Draco and Luna's part now. "Who stands as witness for Severus for his obligation and commitment to this union in life and death?"

"I Draco Lucius Malfoy stand as witness for my godfather Severus Snape to his commitment until death and beyond to this union."

He presented Severus with a gold bond ring which Harry watched with amazement as the ring was pushed on to Harry's ring finger and he felt the finger tingle and the ring re-size.

"Who stands as a witness for Harold for his obligation and commitment to this union in life and death?"

"I Luna Cassiopeia Lovegood stand as witness to my best friend Harold Potter to his commitment until death and beyond to this union."

Harry was surprised by her words but he smiled at them even as she pressed the ring into his hand. He slipped it on to the finger that Severus offered. He felt the tingle from his finger move through his entire body.

"As these two will stand witness, Harold and Severus are bonded as soul mates and husbands through death and beyond. Severus as senior mate kiss your husband as a symbol of the union."

Severus reached down and kissed his husband on the lips. Harry could seem to sense his husband's heart beat and even nearly his thoughts, at least his emotions. His head swam from the effects of it.

Luna came to embrace him. "Harry, see the bond is taking effect on you already. You'll be okay."

Harry nodded and was soon hugged by Draco who had already spoken to Severus. "I guess this makes you my other godfather. Welcome to the family Harry."

Severus took Harry by the arm and led him from the room. Harry was now a Snape in name and law. Severus walked him down to their chambers. As Harry looked around the chambers he was surprised to find they were not in silver and green, done in warm tones of wine colors and beiges and creams. There was a potions lab and office as well as one bedroom.

Harry looked at the bed. "One bed?"

Severus smirked. "We are married after all."

Harry paled. "I guess."

He knew no matter what Albus said he would not be able to force the boy to do anything. "It will be purely platonic I assure you until you're ready."

Harry just nodded. He let Severus lead him back into the living room where his husband calmed him with some alcohol. Normally he would never give alcohol to a student but he knew it would ease the boys' nerves right now. They spoke of plans. Harry would be tutored in potions and would take his tests from the headmaster for he could not mark his husband. 

As he crawled into bed next to Harry he felt this desire to take the boy but he knew he could not. He had to hope Albus wad wrong.


	2. the itch

Harry woke up with a groan the next morning. He was confused. As he put his glasses on he looked around at a room that was definitely not his dorm in Gryffindor. It took a few moments to remember the soulmate ceremony on Valentine's Day and his wedding last night. He was in his husband's bed.

He sat up and groaned as his head swam and he had to sink back against the pillows. "I'm never going to drink again."

A cold voice snapped his eyes open. "I expect you could be in use of this." 

Harry took the vial from his hands with a bit of reluctance. "What is it?"

Severus smirked. "A hang over potion."

Harry was still sceptical. "Really?"

"Yes Mr Pot...Yes Harry. I'm not going to have my new husband show up to class hung over. And I did not poison it." 

Harry drank down the horrid tasting liquid and handed the vile back to his husband, a word that made him shutter. "Thank you."

Severus pointed at the door to the right. "I suggest you hurry for a shower and dress or you'll miss breakfast in the Great Hall."

With that Severus had disappeared from the room and Harry climbed out of bed and headed into the bathroom. He took a hot shower and by the time he came out the combination of water and potion had him feeling much better. He got dressed, thinking breakfast would clear up the rest of it.

Severus was already gone when he came into the sitting room so he grabbed his books and headed up to the great hall. He slipped into a seat next to Neville and Ron.

Neville turned. "Luna told me how it went last night."

Ron looked at him. "Hey how come Luna got to be your best man and not me?"

Harry shrugged. "Sorry. Luna just understood what I was going through."

Ron seemed a bit hurt but he nodded. "So how is it being married to that greasy bat?"

Harry shook his head. "Talked about me being tutored for potions, and then went to bed. He was gone when I was up this morning."

He did not tell his friends about the fact that he had got drunk with his husband the night before or that Severus had to give him a hang over potion to help him get ready for the day. He knew Hermione would be all over the alcohol to minors and a student at that.

"He didn't try to jump your bones or anything did he?" Ron asked.

Hermione elbowed him in the ribs. "You don't ask someone a question like that Ron."

Harry shot a thankful glance at Hermione. "No" was his simple response.

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Albus called Severus to come speak to him after breakfast as he did not have a class the first block. Severus was hoping it was to talk about tutoring for his husband for potions but while they covered the topic first, it was not why Albus called him up.

"How did it go last night?" Albus finally asked.

Severus decided to be honest. "I got him drunk to calm his nerves. Then we spent a platonic night in my bed together."

Albus shook his head. "I will not mention the alcohol; I'll imagine I did not hear that. Could you not have used that to get the boy into bed?"

Severus was shocked by what he had heard. "I'm not going to trick the boy into bed by getting him drunk."

Albus sighed. "You know what you have to do and soon. Harry needs to be convinced one way or another."

"I am going to continue to think that Harry can defeat this like he has all other odds. I'll not take advantage of him when he is drunk or force myself on him."

"Severus you care about the boy, I can tell. Is it that bad to have sex with him?"

Severus was livid. "You're right, I do. That's even more reason for me not to force him. I'll not rape that boy after all he has been through."

"I hope your right and you have time but I doubt you do. There will come a time when you'll have to make the choice for Harry." Albus said.

Severus stood up to leave. "He had survived the death curse twice, he can beat this. I'll not force him."

Albus stopped him. "If he can't defeat this and there is no other choice, will you rather him die then to do what is necessary?"

Severus turned to look at the old man. "No."

He stormed out of the office. He knew that Albus was just trying to make him see that there was a serious chance that he would need to go through with this but he could not face it right now. He could not force the boy who he felt himself attracted to before their bond and now even more. He'd either have to hope Harry could defeat this or that he could seduce the boy quicker then he had ever thought.

"Shouldn't be to hard, I'm quite the catch." Severus said with a sarcastic sneer. "What young man wouldn't want to be forced to wed and then be bedded by me?"

As his first class was with the sixth years he was glad that his husband could no longer be in his class for he could not take seeing the boy right now. He saw many of the Gryffindors staring at him and not paying attention to their potions.

"Five points from Gryffindor Mr Weasley, keep your attention on your cauldron. We don't want you blowing up the classroom." Severus barked.

Perhaps this wouldn't be too bad. He loved having a good reason to be taking points away from Gryffindors. It was the best part of his day. He was obliged though to take points from Draco and Pansy who were also shooting him looks and smoke had risen from their cauldron as they had not been to attentive.

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"That man took 40 points from us in one class." Ron grumbled as he slumped onto the grass later that afternoon after their last class.

Harry turned to his friend. "I assume you are speaking of Snape."

Ron nodded. "Your husband, taking his anger of the situation out on us."

Hermione sat down. "Come on, Professor Snape has been taking points off of us for years. Nothing has changed."

Luna was looking over at Harry every few moments and she noticed when Harry started to scratch at one of his arms. She thought that it was quite strange. Standing up she looked at Harry. 

"Would you mind walking me inside? Your rooms are close to the Ravenclaw entrance." Luna asked

Harry was surprised she had not asked Neville but he nodded. "Of course. I want to drop my things off before dinner anyways."

As they were walking inside Luna turned to him. "What is wrong with your arm?"

Harry shrugged. "I think I must have come in contact with some kind of plant in herbology, I feel a bit itchy."

Luna had her doubts. "If it gets worse I would go and see Madam Pomfrey about it."

Harry agreed and when Luna headed into her rooms he went down to the dungeons and dropped off his book bag there. He went into the bathroom and noticed his arms were red from where he had been scratching them. He had been itchy ever since that morning and he had no idea why. 

"Great got some rash from sleeping in the dank dungeons for only one night." Harry muttered.

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Luna had left her tower quickly and had headed to the classroom where she knew Professor Snape would be even after his classes were done. She knocked on the door and waited until she heard his voice call to enter.

"Miss Lovegood." He acknowledged.

"Professor I had a question about last night." Luna said.

He looked at the girl and motioned her to take a seat. "Of course. As Harry's witness you have the right to ask."

Luna took a deep breath. "Professor was it a full physical bond?"

Severus finally looked at her. Of course she might know about this, knowing her mother. "Yes, Miss Lovegood it was."

Luna did not seem to surprised. "I assume that since the bond moved fast, so will the physical part."

"Have you noticed something Miss Lovegood?"

She nodded. "Harry has been itching his arms all day. He said it was something from herbology but I don't think it was."

Severus was worried but he hid it as best as he could. "Thank you for letting me know Miss Lovegood. You are a good friend."

Luna scurried off from the room, content that she had let Severus know as she knew Harry would not. "Look after him." Luna said as she left.

Severus slipped into the stool. It was moving faster then even Albus had mentioned. He had thought Harry would not feel any effects for at least three days and it had been less then 24 hours since the bond ceremony. He thought for a moment that it could have been a herbology accident but he knew he was grasping at straws.

"Damn that boy. I don't want to force him, but I can't let him be driven mad either." Severus said in anger.

He wrote a letter and took it to the owlery. He needed advice from an old friend. Lucius was out of the country but he needed someone to speak to. Draco could stand in for the wedding ceremony but Draco was to close to Harry. He could not bring his godson into this part of the conversation.

Looking at his ring he swore under his breath again as he headed for dinner. "Give us more time. He's a child."

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That night he came into the room as Harry was in his pyjama bottoms and was about to put on a shirt. He noticed the red on Harry's arms and could see the color was not a rash but was from the itching. His fears were of course answered from seeing this.

"What happened to your arms Harry?"

Harry turned around. "Harry? What ever happened to Potter?"

"You're a Snape now. I can't very well go around calling you Snape can I?" Severus snarled.

Harry agreed. "I guess not."

"So answer my question what happened to make your arms so red?"

Harry shrugged "Just a reaction to one of the plants in the greenhouse, nothing to worry about Madam Pomfrey told me."

Severus knew he had not gone to the matron but did not say so. "Let me put some salve on them and see if we can get the itching to go away."

It was not the salve that gave Harry relief. It was the warm massaging touch of Severus' hands on his bare arms. The physical contact was minor but enough for now to relieve the stress Harry was exhibiting. Brief contact would work for now but Severus knew as the days passed the urge for physical contact would grow more and more and touches like this would bring no relief, at least not until after they had consummated the marriage once. 

Harry thanked him. "My arms are not itching any more. Thank you."

He watched the boy crawl into his side of the bed and fall asleep almost right away. He crawled into bed but his thoughts were plagued by what he was going to have to do. He was grateful that Albus had not told Harry the whole truth. Harry deserved what little peace he could gain. 


	3. the headaches

It was three days after the wedding had taken place and Draco and Luna were sitting watching Harry as he was attempting to have quiditch practice with his team mates on the pitch. The itching had grown worse and Harry was starting to suffer from headaches as well.

"Hermione is getting angry. She keeps telling him he needs to see Madam Pomfrey." Draco said.

Luna shook her head. "It's not going to do him any good."

Draco looked at her. "You know everything don't you?"

Luna smiled. "Your godfather told me. I asked him. He told me as Harry's witness I was entitled to ask."

Draco nodded. "You serve as guardian and protector of the one you stood for. You have the right to question anything that might affect Harry."

"Why is it that only Harry feels it?"

Draco shrugged. "I think Uncle is probably sensing some of it to but he has been tortured over the years. He can handle the stress much better then Harry."

Luna sighed. "Harry needs to do this. If only the once a year."

Draco agreed. "Severus is willing. He is attracted to Harry. He just does not want to force Harry."

"He should be told. He should know." Luna chimed in.

Draco shook his head. "Uncle Sev says that it will make it harder on Harry. He won't tell Harry unless it becomes necessary."

The two of them were trying to come up with ways of convincing their head strong friend that it was necessary for him to act on his impulses when they were drawn out of their conversation by a scream.

They watched in horror as Harry was falling from his broom. Luna surprised all by acting first and shouting. "Leviosa" at Harry.

The spell was only enough to cushion his landing. Draco ran over to him as his teammates landed. "What the hell happened?"

One of the beaters shrugged. "He wasn't paying attention. We were practicing with the bludgers and he got in our way."

Draco could see that the shoulder had been wrenched out of place. "Dam it; we have to get Harry up to the hospital wing."

Careful as not to jostle his shoulder, Draco scooped his friend up into his arms and began carrying him up through the castle and towards the hospital wing. He entered and placed Harry down onto the bed.

"Madam Pomfrey" he called.

The matron came out. "That boy, what has he done to himself now?"

Draco sighed. "He has been having headaches and was not paying enough attention on the pitch. One of his beaters sent a bludger at him."

The woman nodded and went to work trying to help Harry's shoulder. "I would suggest someone go and notify Mr Snape's husband of this incident."

Draco left Luna to stay with Harry knowing how much he hated to be in the hospital wing and would not want to wake alone, and hurried from the hospital wing in search of his Uncle.

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Severus was in the potions lab where he was teaching the last class of his Friday afternoon. It was a group of first year Gryffindor and Hufflepuffs and he had almost had two near explosions already. He was grateful that there were only a few minutes left of the class. 

There was a knock and before he could answer Draco popped in. "Draco, what is going on?"

Draco was out of breath and took him a moment to catch it. "Professor there has been an accident on the pitch. Harry is in the hospital wing."

Severus groaned. "How bad is he?"

Draco explained about what happened and Severus motioned for his students to pack up and leave. He ended all of their potions and told them to write an essay on that potion instead for Monday.

He followed Draco up towards the hospital wing. "His mind is always on the game. What was the boy thinking?"

Draco looked over at his godfather. "The itching is back, and now he has headaches as well."

Severus shook his head. "Dam boy. Should have known better to go on the pitch when he was sick."

Draco smirked. "When has Harry ever been known to use common sense?"

Severus had to agree. "To bad the boy did not pursue this death wish before I was bonded to him."

Draco stopped Severus before they got to the doors. "How much longer are you going to make him suffered like this?"

"I don't recall where it says a godfather and professor discusses his sex life with his godson/student."

Draco would not let it go. "I know you're attracted and care for him. Why not put him out of his misery?"

"I will not force the boy."

"He doesn't even know he is risking his life Uncle. Tell him."

Severus was shaking. "I'll tell him when there is nothing else left to do. I still think he can defeat this, he just needs time."

They both knew Severus was fooling himself to believe that Harry was not falling to this need. They both knew all to well that Harry's progress was also speeding up and that with every passing day the need for Harry to consummate his marriage was going to become more torture to the boy.

Severus said one last time before he opened the door. "I'll not rape that boy."

Draco shook his head. "You'll just kill him instead.

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Harry was sitting up in the bed with his arm in a sling. He could not remember half of what happened. Luna had told him that Michael had hit a bludger at him and he was so distracted that he had not been able to dodge it. 

"Harry, you need to do something. You're getting worse." Luna said.

Harry shook his head. "I've just been sleeping badly. I'll make sure I sleep better before I go on the field."

Luna was so desperate to tell him the truth and was fighting with her conscience to tell him when the door opened. "Miss Lovegood thanks for watching him."

Luna turned to look at Snape. "Of course Professor."

Severus walked over to Harry. "Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to play quiditch when you are not feeling well?"

Harry groaned and shook his head. "Yes, I am well aware of that now. And Madam Pomfrey has already given me the lecture."

"Good. Then I am going to take you downstairs and put you to bed." Severus said.

Harry was a bit surprised. "I thought I would have to spend the night here. Madam Pomfrey said..."

"Madam Pomfrey assures me that it is a simple wrenched shoulder. I have the potions you might need and I assume you'd be more comfortable in a real bed."

Harry had always hated the hospital wing but some how he was torn, happier here then sleeping with his husband. "I guess so."

Madam Pomfrey came in. "I'll discharge him on the condition it is in to your care, and he is to stay in bed this weekend and get some rest."

Severus nodded. "If I have to spell him to his bed, I assure you he will not move from our rooms until Monday."

When Harry had got the all clear to leave Severus helped him up and leads him down to the dungeons. He left Harry long enough to change into pyjamas before he returned to the room and saw Harry was in bed but only in bottoms, he had been unable to get a top on.

"I have brought you a few potions that will help you." Severus said indicating the vials in his hands.

He gave Harry one to deal with the swelling, one for the pain and another for the headache. "I could also give you one to help you sleep if you'd like."

Harry nodded. "I have not slept well the last few nights."

Severus handed him the last vial. "I have noticed."

As the potions were starting to take effect Severus reached out and began to massage Harry's temples. Harry was about to protest but the contact was soothing and he found his body was relaxing enough that even the itching of his arms was going down a bit. He took it though as being an affect of the potions.

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Albus and Severus were sitting in the headmaster's office a few hours later. He had left Harry who was asleep for at least the next eight hours, under the care of Draco who had agreed to sit with him while he studied in case Harry might need something.

"Severus, this proves it. You can not continue to wait. The boy is slipping fast."

Severus hated to admit it. "I know. I was hoping to give it time so Harry might not be so opposed to this."

Albus hated to force the man he thought of as a son and the boy he saw as a grandson into this but he had no other choice. "Before Monday Severus."

Severus nodded. "I know."

He took his leave from the office and headed back down to his rooms. He walked into his bedroom and saw Draco and motioned for the boy to follow him into the sitting room in case Harry might wake up and hear. 

"What did Professor Dumbledore have to say?" Draco asked.

"I need to do this before Monday."

Draco paled. "You know he is never going to be ready for this that soon. You're going to have to make Harry."

Severus sat down hard in a chair. "I know and it kills me. If I ever had a chance of making Harry care about me, it'll be gone after I force him to do this."

Draco put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't give up hope. He's always had a forgiving heart. In the end he'll know you had to do it to save him."

Severus nodded. "I hope you're right."

He watched Draco leave and then headed back into the bedroom. He had wanted to take the boy even before the bond, and the mild irritation on his skin was not the force behind it but he just could not bring himself to. Perhaps it would have been easier to take him now when Harry was drugged and out, but he couldn't. He had to explain it to Harry; he needed the boy to understand. He had to give Harry a chance to agree, they had two days. He would not take the boy drugged. If he forced the boy it would be when the boy was clear minded and knew what Severus was doing to him.

He lay on the bed and took the boy into his arms and rubbed his arms and chest. "Harry, I hope Draco is right, I hope you can forgive me for what I'll have to do."

He fell asleep dreading the weekend that lay ahead for him, though with slight relief from his itchy skin from the touch of the boy in his arms. 


	4. the tremors

Harry did not wake until nearly lunch time on Saturday. He was just struggling to sit up in bed when Severus came into the room with a tray of food which a house elf had brought for him.

"Lunch is served." Severus said putting the tray on Harry's lap.

"Lunch in bed?" Harry asked.

Severus nodded. "Don't get used to it. I am just under orders from Madam Pomfrey not to let you move around much until Monday."

Harry sighed and went to lift the spoon to have a bite of soup but his arm began to twitch and he dropped it. He tried again and this item even with the twitches was able to get the spoon to his mouth and slowly but surely finished his lunch.

Severus had been watching as he pretended to read a book. "Is there something wrong?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I'm just used to eating with my other hand, that's all."

For Severus who had seen Harry eat with both hands as he was ambidextric, he just sighed. "How are you feeling?"

Harry shook his head. "Fine, my shoulder still throbs a bit but fine."

Severus went and fetched another few bottles of potions and helped Harry to drink them. "That should help you."

Harry was surprised when he found his husband moving to sit behind him and positioning Harry against his chest. He began to rub Harry's temples after taking off his glasses.

"What are you doing?"Harry said trying to pull away.

Severus stopped him and pulled him back. "Is it helping?"

Harry tried not to squirm and he had to admit it was helping a bit. "Yes, a bit."

Harry found himself drifting off to sleep not aware that there had been a dreamless sleep potion among the vials he had been given to drink. Severus watched through the day as Harry slept again. He knew he could not keep putting this off but every time he tried, he could not bring himself to touch the boy.

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Sunday morning though when Harry came out of the bedroom it was obvious there was no time left for him to decide. Harry's twitches had turned into full blown tremors through his upper body which the boy could no longer hide. Harry looked ghostly pale and slumped into a chair.

Severus knew it was now or never. "Harry, we need to talk."

Harry looked up at him. "Okay?"

"There is something you don't know about with the bond. It was a full physical bond." Severus tried to explain.

Harry just stared at him, not knowing what that meant. "I don't understand sir."

"It means that we are connected through our bodies as well as hearts and minds. It means our bodies thrive or falter with physical touch."

Harry was growing paler if possible. "What do you mean?"

"There is a need for those who are bonded to have physical contact. More then three days and it will become painful. It does not need to be sexual more then once a year but it does need to be within a time of the bonding ceremony."

Harry was starting to comprehend what he was getting at. "My headaches, the itching, these tremors."

Severus nodded. "Our bond has moved quicker then any known before. It seems that our bodies are reacting faster then normal."

Harry was having a harder and harder time following as his body shook. "What does this mean?"

"It means that we need to consummate our marriage before the night is out." Severus said plainly.

Harry got to his feet as quick as he could manage. "No. I can't. I won't."

Severus tried to grab him and stop him but Harry slipped from his hands. "Harry, we are going to have to do this."

"I can't."

"I will give you until tonight. One way or another Harry, I'm sorry but this has to be done." Severus said.

Harry just kept shaking his head. "I won't go through with this. I can take the pain. I won't do this."

Severus was struggling with his own emotions. "I'm going to give you some time. I'll send someone to talk to you. Harry please understand."

"Understand? I can't understand this, I won't." Harry yelled and stormed into the bedroom.

Severus sighed and left the apartments but not before casting spells to ensure that Harry would be unable to leave their apartments for he knew if he left the boy alone he would leave.

He went to the Great Hall where he sought out Draco and Luna. "Can you two come with me?"

They followed him out and Draco turned to his godfather. "You're going to do this?"

Severus nodded. "I told him everything. I've given him until later this afternoon."

Luna shook her head. "He's not accepting it is he?"

Severus sighed. "No but it has to be done one way or another. I'm hoping you two can make him see how necessary this is. I don't want to force him but I will."

Luna reached out to touch his arm. "You're doing the right thing. One day Harry'll understand He'll know you did this to save his life."

"I just hope there is something left of our bond to save when he does." Severus said and walked away.

He was in his potions lab when there was a knock at the door and Lucius strode in. He had written Lucius hoping his old friend would write him some advice. He had not expected the man to show up.

"Lucius. I never expected you to drop everything and come all the way back from the continent." Severus said.

Lucius came and hugged him. "You should have known me better old friend. Do you think I'd let you go through with his on your own?"

Severus sagged into his stool and told Lucius all that had happened. "Maybe I should have taken him when he was drunk or drugged."

Lucius shook his head. "No. You were right. The boy deserved to know what was going on. It would not have made it any easier, if he found out after."

"I had to do this; we both had to do this when we were spies. I'm not sure why this is any different." Severus growled.

"Because you were forced to do that, you hated it to your core. And because you care about this boy. Not just because he is your bonded husband but because you have cared about him for years, he is your soul mate." Lucius piped in.

"Dam it. Why do I finally find my soul mate and I have to force him to do this?"

Lucius was not sure what to say. "I don't know. I wish I did. All I can say is that Harry'll see the light and you won't loose him, eventually."

"You know your son said the same thing to me basically."

Lucius smirked. "Like father like son I guess. I was a bit hurt to here Draco got to be your best man and I did not."

Severus smiled a half moment. "If you had not been out of the country you would have been my first choice, you know that."

"The least you can do is you can name your first son after me then." Lucius said.

Severus smirked. "If that boy ever deems to forgive me enough to give me a child, I think he might have the right to choose the name."

Severus spoke with his old friend through the day and he felt some relief over speaking to him. Nothing would make Severus feel better about what he had to do, but some hope came from his friend's words. He had to just keep praying Harry would see what he was doing was right.

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Draco and Luna used the password they had been told and entered into the rooms that Harry and Severus shared. They found Harry hunched over on the bed crying. They both knew that the tremors they saw were not entirely from his crying.

Luna placed a hand on his back. "Harry, Draco and I are here for you."

Harry looked up at them. "You guys knew?"

Draco nodded. "I've been telling Uncle Sev he needed to tell you. He didn't want to scare you before he had to."

Harry held on to his legs as an attempt to stop the shaking. "How can he expect me to do this?"

Luna wrapped an arm about him. "Severus cares about you. It's hurting him to see you in such pain. All he wants is to protect you from it."

"By raping me?"

Draco sat down to. "Harry, he does not want to. He thought about doing it when you were drunk or when you were on meds, so you might not remember but he didn't. He wanted you to understand, wanted you to have a choice in this."

Harry laughed. "A choice? What choice do I have? He has locked me in these apartments waiting for him to come back and take me."

Draco needed him to understand. "The choice to be willing to do this. The choice to participate. It would be quicker if you would be a part of it."

Luna nodded. "He is your bond. You are to protect each other. It causes him pain as well. Let him make love to you and not rape you. Give him that."

Harry was sobbing. "I can't. I can't let him touch me. I can't do this."

Draco and Luna both held him close to their bodies and tried as best as they could to comfort him. They stayed with him. They knew he had been counting the minutes until Severus would return. They could not get through to him that this was the best. All they could do was try and help him be ready for what was to come.

Just after four the door opened and Severus came through. "Thank you guys for staying with him. I need to ask you to leave."

Draco hugged Harry one last time. ""Remember what we said Harry. You do have a choice in this."

Luna was the last to leave as she hugged him a bit longer. "He is your soul mate. Remember what we've told you. Please."

Harry sat as still as a statue on the bed not looking up at his husband or moving. He waited, waited he guessed for his husband to come across and get it done and over with. Instead his husband came and took him by the arm and led him into the sitting room. Dinner was waiting for them there and Harry sat down and tried to eat something, finding it the only possible distraction.

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Severus watched as Harry put down his spoon after eating only a bit. He knew he could not keep putting this off. He had a house elf come and clear away the tray for them.

He put two bottles on the table. "One is an intense calming draught, you won't be able to really feel or think about anything. The other is fire whiskey."

Harry looked at them both. "What are they for?"

"I did not take you before when drunk or drugged for I wanted you to have a choice. Now I give you two options. If either will make it easier for you."

Harry looked at the bottles. "I can't do this. I won't do this."

Severus came around and pulled him to his feet. "You have to. I will not lie and say I don't want you, but not like this. I wish there was another way."

Harry felt Severus' hands on his skin and tried to pull away. "No, please no."

"Harry if there was any other way I would. I will not let you die Harry, I can't. Do you want either of those?" he said motioning to the bottles.

Harry shook his head. "No."

"I'm sorry Harry."


	5. the act

"Harry if there was any other way I would. I will not let you die Harry, I can't, Do you want either of those?" he said motioning to the bottles.

Harry shook his head. "No".

"I'm sorry Harry"

Harry desperately tried to pull away from him but Severus held him tight with a hand around his neck and started to unbutton the pyjama top Harry still wore and slipped it from the boy's body.

"No please stop" Harry pleaded as he felt Severus' hands go down to the hem of his bottoms. Severus took Harry by the back of the neck and forced him into a rough kiss which drowns out his protests, Harry's hands against the man's chest having not enough leverage to push him away. Severus led him into the bedroom.

"Lay down against the pillows." He whispered to Harry.

Harry shook his head. "I won't."

Severus brushed a hand across Harry's bare chest. "I'm doing this one way or another, just do as I say and you'll be more comfortable."

Harry tried to move away from him but when Severus grasped him by the upper arm and started to force him down, he gasped. "Okay".

Harry lay down on the bed as if he was going to sleep, head on the pillows. He cringed as he watched Severus remove his shirt and his trousers and boxers. Harry had never seen any man naked before. Severus lowered himself down on his side next to Harry. He went to kiss Harry but Harry turned his face away from him. He took the boys chin and forced Harry to look at him and pressed his mouth against the boys. He took the opportunity when Harry's mouth opened in slight protest, to slip his tongue into the boy's mouth.

His mouth slowly moved from Harry's and began trailing down Harry's neck, Harry's meek protests dissolving into sobs. He could feel himself grow harder but he knew for this to work both he and Harry needed to have release. As his kisses started moving down Harry's chest he could see the boy's hands clinging to the sheets underneath him and his head burring into the pillows next to him.

Slowly and deftly He removed the last bits of clothing between him and Harry Harry's sobbed harder as he felt the cold air against his inner thighs and the feeling of Severus's hair legs slowly parting his thighs. "Stop, please stop."

Severus struggled to continue but he did. He took Harry in his mouth and heard the gasp and sharp intake of breath as Harry felt Severus swallow him. The body went ridged and the protests grew more intense as Harry's body shook from the sensation. Severus continued to move up and down the shaft, feeling the boy respond even as he protested louder and louder, before the boy reached his climax. Severus licked the shaft clean and the moved back towards Harry's face,

He acciod the two bottles from the table. "Please Harry, let me give you one of these."

Harry shook his head. "Please just stop, I can't take any more of this. Please."

Severus' will was breaking. He wanted so bad to stop but he couldn't. "Harry I can't. I know you don't want this but I won't let you die. Please take one of these."

Harry refused the potion but he took a drink of the whiskey. It was not enough to knock him out but it would numb his senses a bit. The boy was to stubborn for his own good Severus thought.

Severus reached over into his bed side table and grabbed a small bottle of lotion. He positioned himself between Harry's thighs again and lifted the boy off the bed enough to gain entrance to him. He slid one greased up finger into Harry. Harry screamed as he felt the tightness of a finger inside of him. As a second and third were forced into him to make ready the pain got too much and Harry gave up in all protests and gave into the hysterical sobbing, burying his head into the pillows.

Severus wanted so much to reach out and comfort the boy but he knew what he had to do. As slowly and gently as he could he pressed his shaft inside Harry. It was very tight and he could feel every muscle in Harry tense. He moved slowly trying to allow Harry to get used to it, to adjust to it. When the boy's cries calmed a bit and his body started to relax a slight, Severus started pumping in and out of Harry. He moved into an easy rhythm until finally he reached his own climax and filled Harry with his seed.

When he could he removed himself from Harry and cast a cleansing spell on them both. He moved to the top of the bed and tried to pull Harry close to him but the boy was ridged against him. "Harry, I'm so sorry I had to do that. I couldn't let you die Harry. I need you."

Harry would not stop shaking so Severus again reached for the potion bottle and pressed it to Harry's lips. "Drink it Harry."

Harry shook his heed. "No" he managed weakly.

Severus tried again. "Please Harry. It'll let you sleep. Please do this." He begged the boy. He could not stand to see Harry like this.

Harry reluctantly opened his mouth and allowed Severus to pour the potion in but Severus had to rub the boy's neck to get him to actually swallow the potion for he seemed to have no will of his own. The potion was taking quick effect but Harry turned on to his side and curled into a foetal position before he fell asleep.

Severus looked at him. "Merlin, what have I done. Harry, I swear I never wanted it to be this way. I love you. Please forgive me some day."

Severus thought of taking some of the potion himself but he would not. He deserved the lack of sleep and bad dreams waiting for him. No matter how much he knew he had to do this or Harry would die, he could not stop from punishing himself for what he had done to the boy. Every bit of terror, every bit of pain, every bit of sense of betrayal that Harry had felt, Severus had felt as well, a part of the empathic link he had as the senior partner. He felt as if he had tortured his soul mate. He had been forced to rape many women as a spy and he had hated every moment of it, but it was nothing compared to the torture he felt right now.

He wrapped his arms around Harry and held the boy against his body. He felt the potion finally settle in and Harry's breathing regularize and eventually his crying stop as well. It was nearing dawn hours and hours later when Severus finally started to drift off, the exhaustion of his body finally conquering the torture of his brain.

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When Harry woke up his body ached all over. Not like the day before. Not the tremors or the headaches. His body ached from what had been done to him. His mind was racked with memories of his husband's hands on him, of his mouth, of everything. He couldn't seem to put his thoughts together.

He saw Severus, felt him wrapped around his body like a cocoon. He pulled out from the man's arms and stumbled into the bathroom where he collapsed beside the toilet and began to vomit. When he had heaved all he had he pulled himself into the shower. As hard as he scrubbed, as hard as he tried to remove the taste and the feel of the man on him, he couldn't. He stood in the water for he wasn't sure how long.

He stumbled out and dried. He pulled on the first clothes he saw and his robe. He stumbled towards the door. The shields were still up. All he could think have was he needed to get out. He had to get away. He needed to be gone before Severus woke up. He focussed his energy and some how he felt the shields slip away.

He rushed through the door and did not know where he was going until he found himself at the painting of Salazar, the entrance to Slytherin.

He looked at the painting not knowing the password and did the one thing he could think of and spoke in Parseltongue. "_I need entrance to your house Salazar."_

"_You are not of my house young man but you are a speaker."_ The painting responded.

Harry nodded. "_I'm married to the head of the house. I am a parselmouth. Please I need to speak to Draco Malfoy."_

"_I do not usually let others into this house but as a speaker I will allow you entrance." _The painting swung open to allow him in through the portal.

Harry ran. He was not sure how he knew which door belonged to Draco but some how he found his way into Draco's room, one the boy had alone as he was a prefect for his house.

Draco wasn't awake but woke as Harry stumbled in, as it was just after dawn. "Harry."

Harry sunk to the floor sobbing. "Draco."

His friend gathered him into his arms and led him over to his bed. "I'm so sorry Harry. You know he had to do it."

Harry just shook in his friend's arms. "Please let me stay here. I can't go back. Please."

Draco nodded and helped Harry into the bed and covered him with some blankets. He knew that Harry was in desperate need of sleep and he needed to feel safe before he would get some sleep. The potion educed sleep was not the kind of rest he needed. Draco fell asleep holding the boy in his arms.

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Severus woke up nearing breakfast time and turned to see that he was alone in the bed. The memories of the night before flooded through his mind and he beat himself up for doing that to Harry. As much as he reminded himself he had been saving Harry's life, he could not escape the guilt he was feeling.

He slipped into robes and went to the living room, sure to find Harry there as he had not taken the shields down. "Where is he?"

He looked through his potions lab and bathroom and could not find Harry. He then realized what he had not sensed before. The shields he had put up the day before were gone. The boy had some how been up set enough he had found a way to channel enough energy to bring down the wards. If he wasn't panicked about what the boy might do to himself, he would have been excited about what Harry had accomplished.

He went up to the Great Hall, hoping someone would have seen Harry. He spotted Luna who came over. "Have you seem Harry?"

She shook her head. "No. You did it last night?"

Severus nodded. "He was gone when I woke. He broke through the shields I put on my room. I'm scared what he might do."

Luna shook her head. "He didn't take our advice then and accept it?"

Severus felt a pang. "No"

Luna set out to find Harry and got help from Neville, Ron and Hermione but the search did not last long as Draco appeared and motioned for his godfather to follow him to a private place to speak.

"Harry is in my room. I think he'll probably sleep until dinner, he was so exhausted."

Severus sighed with relief. "How?"

"I'm not sure. He showed up in my room. I have no idea how he got in. He came before any of us were awake." Draco admitted.

Severus had an idea. Salazar was of course a parselmouth and there was a chance if Harry had thought about it, he would have spoken to the founder in parseltongue and convinced him to let him enter. He decided to leave the boy there for the time being and go speak to him when he woke up later. Harry needed sleep and he would not get into much trouble while he was there.


	6. the obligations

Draco returned to his rooms after classes and dinner to find Harry was still out. He sat down in his chair and picked up a book. He could not bring himself to leave his friend right now. There was a knock at the door and Blaise poked his head inside.

"Severus is looking for you." Blaise informed him.

Draco nodded. "Can you tell Uncle Sev I'll be out in a minute?"

Blaise noticed Harry in the bed. "Does he know his husband in asleep in your bed?"

Draco sighed. "He does."

"When did he come in here? I didn't see him in DADA or at meals?"

"He came in some time after dawn. Uncle Sev things Salazar must have let him in because he is a parselmouth." Draco explained.

Blaise offered to stay with Harry as he knew Draco was reluctant to leave him. He had no idea what had gone on but from the worried looks on both Draco and his head of house and from the fact that Harry had shown up here at dawn and was obviously in bad shape, he knew there was something going on.

Draco thanked him. "I don't know if he will wake up. If he does, come get me please."

Blaise nodded. "It's pretty bad?"

"Yes." Was the only response Draco would give before he left the room.

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Severus was sitting in the common room waiting for Draco to come. Many of the students were in the Great Hall still so he did not have to deal with more then a strange look or two. Draco finally appeared.

"Blaise told me you were out here." Draco said.

Severus nodded. "Can we continue this conversation in your room."

Draco shook his head. "I know I can't really forbid you to enter as you're head of house but I think it's a really bad idea."

Severus sighed. "Has he woken up yet?"

"No."

Severus motioned for Draco to follow him and they went into his private apartments. "Draco, did he say anything."

"He didn't have to. I knew what you were going to do last night." Draco said as he took a seat.

"I had to do it, you know I had to." Severus grimaced.

Draco felt a pang of compassion for his godfather. "I do. I tried to convince Harry for you. I tried to get him to be willing but he was just so scared."

"I can't stop hearing his pleas in my head. I almost stopped so many times. It was killing me." Severus admitted.

Draco could see the pain in his godfather's eyes. "You had to do it, it would have killed him otherwise. He'll understand eventually."

"Understand? I'm not sure. I could feel what he felt, through our bond. His fear, his pain, the betrayal. It was torture to him."

Draco had not understood just how strong the link was. "It was torture to you too. To have to deal with your own guilt as well as his pain."

"I've done this before, I can live with the guilt of rape. But this is different. To do it to your own soul mate."

Draco ached for his godfather. "Give him time Uncle. He will come to see the truth. He'll see what he's doing to his own soul mate. He will."

"How did I ever end up with such an amazing godson?"

Draco shrugged. "I guess you, dad and mum just taught me well."

"I need to see him. I need to speak to him."

Draco shook his head. "No. I can't let you. He needs to have his space right now."

"Draco he is not only my soul mate but by bond. I need to be close to him."

Draco stopped him. "Right now he needs you to keep away. If the need to touch grows too deep again, then you can come but for now you need to back off."

"He's my husband, my bond, how can I do that?"

Draco made an offer. "Harry can stay with me. Give it a few days. The physical as well as mental bond will pull on him more now that you consummated. He'll seek you even if it is for pure need for physical proximity. Just let him come this time.

Severus reluctantly agreed. "I'll wait. But if the boy let's it go to long again, I can't just let him suffer. It won't kill him but I won't let him cause himself pain either."

Draco agreed. "If it comes to it, then yes. But for now just let me and his friends try and help him with this."

Severus watched as Draco went out of the room and he once again slumped into his chair. He wanted so bad to go to Draco's room and force his way in. He needed to try and comfort his husband. He could feel Harry's pain and confusion. He wanted nothing more then to reach out and comfort the boy. He would do as he promised though and wait. He knew in his heart that Harry wouldn't come to him even when the bond started to pull on him again, but he would give Draco the chance to convince Harry to come on his own.

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Harry started to wake up and he was disoriented, he had no idea where he was. The blankets were green but he was not in his husband's bed. The memories of the night before flooded through him. He remembered dimly running from the rooms.

Suddenly he felt fingers on him, on his arm and he began to panic. Memories of Severus on him last night came flooding back. "Get off of me, please no more."

The hands withdrew but a calm voice that was not Severus' spoke. "Hey Harry, it's okay. It's just Blaise."

Harry fumbled for his glasses having no idea where they were and someone handed them to him. He put them on and looked at the person. "Sorry, Blaise."

Blaise just sat on the edge of the bed. "No apologies needed here. I'm sorry I scared you."

Harry shook his head. "Just a bad dream."

Blaise knew it wasn't but didn't press the matter. "Harry why are you in Draco's rooms?"

Harry suddenly realized where he was as he remembered the morning. "I just needed to get away last night. I some how found myself here."

"How did you get in here anyways?"

"Salazar seems to be a sucker for parselmouths. He let me in after I talked to him for a bit." Harry admitted.

Blaise nodded. "Draco didn't tell me much, just said you had shown up early this morning and that you seemed to need a place to rest."

Harry shrugged. "How long have I been out?"

"It is about an hour after dinner time." Blaise admitted.

Harry blanched. He had no idea he had been out all day. "I should really be going." Harry said but had no idea where he would go.

Blaise stopped him. "You don't need to go any where. Any ways Draco would have my head if you left."

Harry looked around. "Where is Draco?"

"He went to speak to his Uncle Severus for a bit. I volunteered to stay in case you woke up." Blaise admitted.

Harry shot up and tried to get out of bed. "I need to leave, I need to get out of here."

Blaise pushed him back down. "No you don't. I have no idea what happened last night but Draco is dealing with your husband. You're fine where you are."

As if a response the door opened and Draco came walking back into the room. Harry was relieved to see that he was alone and Draco seemed equally relieved to see that Harry had woken up. He motioned for Blaise to leave them for a while.

Blaise went to leave but he smiled at Harry" If you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me. You know that."

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Draco sat down next to Harry and shook his head at how pale and sick the boy looked. He must have been through hell the night before to have slept not only last night though by potion, and through the entire day. He did not need his Uncle's quick version of the night's events to know that Harry was in waking hell right now.

"I need to go." Harry said again.

Draco shook his head. "Uncle Sev is not coming in here. I told him he had to give you space."

Harry settled back a bit. "I'm sorry I woke you up this morning. I shouldn't have come here."

Draco stopped him. "Harry we're practically family now and we are friends. I want to help you with this. Luna will to."

Harry wrapped his arms around his legs. "I don't think anyone can."

Draco laid a hand on his arm. "I know this is hard but this is torture on Sev to. He has an empathic bond with you. He felt every pain, betrayal and torture you felt last night Harry."

"Good" was the only response he received.

"You can't punish him any more then he is already punishing himself you know. You're his soul mate and he had to rape you. He would have rather suffered a hundred cruciatus curses in a row then do that to you."

"Then why did he?"

"Because you would have died, or gone mad from the pain Harry. He wanted it to be your choice but he couldn't let you die. He loves you Harry." Draco pleaded.

Harry shook his head. "No, no I can't deal with this right now. I can't."

Draco sighed. "Uncle Severus has agreed to give you space. You can stay here with me or you can go back to Gryffindor if you'd like."

Harry felt relief wash over him. "You mean it?" and when Draco nodded. "You wouldn't mind if I stayed here for a few nights?"

Draco shook his head. "I offered. I know you need a friend right now. I want you to know Luna and I are both here for you."

"Luna?"

Draco nodded. "You don't know the importance of your witnesses did you? I am guessing since you chose a woman."

Harry shook his head. "I thought it was like a marriage ceremony, you chose a friend you wanted to honour."

"A witness to a bond is a part of the bond themselves. They are linked to both members. They stand to support and guide both partners through the marriage. They can also call to question the actions of the other bond mate. That is how Luna could ask Severus about it being a physical bond." Draco admitted.

"Luna knew this when she agreed to be my witness?" Harry asked, feeling guilty he might have drawn her into something she was not prepared for.

Draco smiled. "Luna knew full well. As she said she loves you as a brother. The part about championing your honour is usually why a man would be picked for a man."

Harry saw an image of a duel for honour like in the middle ages. "Luna might not be the strongest but I know she would do me proud."

Draco nodded. "Luna loves you, I love you. We become a sort of family through the bond. It is common if you have kids that we'd be their godparents."

Harry paled. "Kids? Could he have got me pregnant last night?"

Draco shook his head. "No. It has to be willing on both ends. Severus will not gain any children from you unless you want to give him them."

Harry turned his head away at the thought. "Then he never will."

"Harry take the time he is giving you and just think about it. He does love you. I know it will take time to forgive him for last night but take the time."

Harry slowly nodded. "I'll think."

Draco knew that was the best he was going to get out of his friend right now. He and Luna would have to work on Harry. He might even have to call in the big guns, his father was a bit better at such things then he was. Even if they weren't already bound by normal friendship to want to help Harry feel better, Draco and Luna would feel a need to help because of the vows they took in the ceremony. It was their job to try and heal the wounds between these soul mates.


	7. the scheme

Harry reluctantly returned to classes on Tuesday. He nearly had to be dragged though into potions on Wednesday afternoon which was the first time he had it. Draco took up on one side of him and Hermione on the other, his friends all close by. Severus kept sending him looks but Harry tried to ignore them. The doubt potions lesson was near torture for Harry being in the same room as the man.

When class was dismissed Severus spoke up. "Harry stay behind please."

Harry looked at his friends for help but they couldn't. Draco just mouthed. "It'll be okay, I'm right outside."

After everyone else left Severus turned to Harry. "How are you feeling Harry?"

Harry couldn't believe him. "How do you think I'm doing Severus?"

"Have any of the tremors or headaches come back?" Severus pressed.

Harry shook his head. "No." He refused to admit that he had woken up with a horrid headache that morning which was persisting.

"Harry you know we need to have physical contact every few days or the bond will start reacting again." Severus reminded him.

Harry drew as far away from him as he could. "I'm never letting you touch me again. Wasn't once enough for you?"

Severus stopped from advancing on Harry. "I didn't mean, we don't have to have it except once a year. We just need physical contact for a few hours."

"Well I'm fine. I'm not feeling any kind of reaction. And I am not letting you any where near me." Harry practically shouted.

Severus hid his own grimace. He could sense both physical and emotional stress on Harry. "Harry you can't keep running from this. It'll get worse again."

"There is nothing wrong with me. I'm leaving." Harry said and turned, not sure if he expected Severus to try and stop him or not.

Severus sighed. "I'll not stop you now but I told you before I won't let you cause yourself pain like this Harry."

Harry fled out of the room and found Draco as he had promised, waiting for him in the hall. He accompanied Draco up to the Great Hall for dinner and did not seem aware of the fact that he found himself sitting at the Slytherin table instead of his own.

Draco noticed Harry rubbing his temples again after dinner. "That headache hasn't gone away from this morning."

Harry shook his head. "It's nothing Draco. I've just not been sleeping well."

Draco knew he hadn't but he knew it was something else. "Perhaps you should go and lay down."

Harry nodded. He went off to the room he had been sharing with Draco. Draco sent Blaise with Harry to escort him down stairs and went over to the Ravenclaw table and found Luna.

"Luna we need to speak."

She stood up and nodded. "I know."

The two of them left the room together and left people at several tables talking.

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Severus was in his lab that evening working or at least trying to work on another potion for the hospital wing when he saw Luna and Draco come in through the door and from the looks on their faces he knew something was wrong.

Luna spoke first. "He needs you."

Severus looked up. "They're back aren't they?"

Draco responded. "He's had a headache since this morning and his arms were red again."

Severus sagged against his table. "Dam that boy. Why does he insist on torturing himself?"

Luna felt sympathy for him for she knew that the empathic bond would be making this even harder on Severus. "I think right now the physical pain is helping Harry mask the emotional pain."

Severus understood all to well. "I can't let him keep doing this."

Draco looked at his Uncle. "You're going about this the wrong way."

Severus looked at his godson. "And what would you advise I do as you seem an expert on this?"

"I'm not an expert on love but I understand Harry. I know he needs you to prove why he should trust you."

"Prove? I'm his bond. I feel his pain and his feelings. I love him. I'm living with this torture of raping him to save him."

Luna spoke. "Is it all about the bond? Do you have any feelings for him beyond it?"

Severus nodded. "Yes. I have had feelings for him before. We both must have for us to be soul mates. I'm the one who noticed though. I love him."

"Then tell him. Stop talking about bonds. Stop talking about wanting to save his life. Tell him you love him. Tell him you care about him." Draco said.

Severus could not believe he was taking advice from teens but he knew they made sense. "He isn't going to want to hear it."

"Keep repeating it. Do not give up on him. Be as stubborn as he is. Show him that you mean it." Draco insisted.

Luna agreed. "Harry needs to know this is not simply the bond. Do not let him push you away. Fight"

Severus looked between the two of them. "I can't wait though. If I am feeling this bad right now, he must be in bad shape."

Draco agreed. "I'll let you through the shields we put up on my room. Harry won't like it but you need to do this."

"It'll be taking a step back. He already is angry at me for raping him." Severus said.

"But he needs to be sane for you to win him over." Luna pointed out.

Severus reluctantly agreed and followed Draco to his rooms where they found Harry was sleeping. Draco let him through the shields and then closed the door behind Severus. He walked across the room and slipping from his clothes he climbed into bed next to his husband. Harry was only in boxers so there was almost full physical contact between them. He took Harry against his body, wrapping him tight in his arms. He could already feel the tension ease from the boy.

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Harry woke up in the morning feeling better. His headache was gone and the itching from his arms had disappeared. He was a bit disoriented and realized that there was a pair of arms wrapped around his torso. He pulled away violently from the arms and almost fell off the bed in the process. His husband. How?

Harry seized his clothes and ran into the bathroom and changed and fled the room. He ran smack dab into Draco and Blaise. "Harry". Draco said concerned.

Harry looked up at him. "You! You did this."

Blaise was looking between the two. "Harry, what did he do?"

"You let him in our room. You took down the shields." Harry accused Draco.

Draco could not deny it. "I had to Harry. I couldn't allow you both to continue to suffer from the pain."

"I thought you were my friend, my family."

Draco felt such guilt. "Harry, I am. I couldn't stand to see you like that or my godfather. I swear I thought I was doing the best thing for you."

Blaise was confused. "What are you talking about? What did you do Draco?"

"You thought having me wake up in bed almost naked with the man who raped me was for the best? You thought not having any kind of warning for his presence was the best? Dam you Draco." Harry shouted.

Draco needed him to understand. "Luna and I know this is hard but we knew this was for the best. You needed physical contact soon or it would get worse."

"Luna? Luna knew?"

Draco knew he had said the wrong thing. "Harry, she was only trying to help."

Harry could not handle it any more. He fled form Slytherin. He ran through the castle until he got to the entrance of Gryffindor. He gave the recent password and he practically fell through the entrance.

"Harry" a scared Hermione said.

He held on to her for dear life. "I can't go back. I can't."

She nodded and helped escort Harry up to the dorm he had lived in until he had been married. His bed still stood there. Ron and Seamus were in the room preparing for class and took over. They helped get Harry into bed while Hermione ran and got Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey.

Minerva looked totally beside herself. "I told Albus this bowl was a bad idea. Look at the boy."

Pomona handed them some sleeping draughts. "He'd be better off sleeping off for a few days. His body and mind need some rest."

She wanted to take him to the hospital wing but Ron and his roommates assured her they would make sure he was taken care of and if they needed anything they would send for her right away. Sending him to the hospital wing where Severus could come to him any time was not a good idea. He would not feel safe there.

Minerva tried to reason with hem. "Severus would not step out of bounds. If Harry wanted his space he would not come in there."

Hermione shook her head. "Snape has already proven he'll step over lines when necessary. Harry also needs to know he is safe. He won't feel safe there."

McGonagall agreed eventually.."Professor Snape can not enter here without permission from me or a student. Harry can feel safe here. I want word though if he needs something."

The students agreed but they all had to head off to class. Harry would be sleeping for at least eight hours with the potion he had been given and they would be back from classes before then. They had enough potions to allow him to sleep in peace until Saturday. It was as long as Madam Pomfrey would agree to.

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Draco found Luna in the library later and explained to her what had happened and that Harry had disappeared.

Luna sighed. "We should have known. He was not going to react well to having Severus suddenly in bed with him."

"What are we going to do? We need to get Harry to understand that Uncle Sev loves him and to open his own heart here." Draco said.

Luna nodded and handed him a book. "How good are you at brewing potions?"

Draco looked at the potion. "This seems simple enough and it could just do the trick."

They agreed that they would make the potion together in the room of requirements for they knew they would never get into the potions classroom without Severus noticing and he would not be pleased. They needed ingredients though.

"Dobby" Draco called.

The little house elf appeared. "Former master was calling Dobby."

"Dobby I need your help, well actually Harry needs your help." Draco said.

The elf bowed. "Dobby always help Master Harry. What can I do to help Master Harry?"

They gave the little house elf a list of the ingredients that they knew the room of requirements could not provide for them and they headed to the space where they found a lab waiting for them. When Dobby appeared with all of the potions ingredients they started to work. They finished brewing the potion sometime past dinner.

"We just need to get this into Harry." Draco said.

Luna nodded. "Problem is he is holed up in Gryffindor and neither of us can gain entrance."

Draco thought. "Blaise can but after how angry he got about Harry this morning I doubt he'll be willing to help us out."

Luna thought. "I hate lying to Neville but if we told him it was something to help Harry, he'd probably slip it to him."

They agreed and went to find Neville. Neville was a loyal friend to Harry and when he was assured the potion would help Harry he agreed to add it to the sleeping draught that Harry had been taking .

When Neville was gone Draco turned to Luna. "This has to work."

Luna smiled. "It will, I'm sure of it."


	8. the potion

Neville felt a bit bad about slipping something into Harry's breakfast. Harry was one of his best friends in the world. He had stood up for Nevillle so many times. Luna though swore that it would help Harry with the headaches. He was desperate to help his friend with the pain.

He brought the tray in as Harry was sitting up in the bed. "Hey, you're finally up."

Harry nodded. "Have I really been out for two days?"

Neville nodded. "Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall decided that it was the best for you."

Harry shrugged. "I guess the sleep helped. I'm starving though."

Neville handed him the tray. "I had Dobby bring you up a tray. You've missed breakfast."

Harry thanked Neville and dug into the food. "It feels like I haven't eaten in weeks."

"You look pretty thin, have you?" Neville asked with true concern.

"Not much I guess since Valentine's day." Harry admitted.

He watched as Harry drank the tea that he had slipped the potion into and looked for any reaction. He had hoped Luna had been right and it was a flavourless potion and would not go noticed by Harry. He did not seem to show any sign.

They were talking though when Harry suddenly grabbed his head. "Oh Merlin." He said through clenched teeth.

Neville was scared, had Luna and Draco brewed it wrong. "Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry just kept shaking. "Get out of my head; please get out of my head."

Neville was beside himself now. "Harry, please tell me what is happening?"

Harry suddenly shot out of the bed grabbing and throwing on his robe as he went, tears streaming down his cheeks. Neville chased after him but He tripped just outside of the portrait hole and watched as Harry took off.

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Severus was sitting in his potions lab when there was a knock at the door but to his surprise it was not Draco or Luna. Neville Longbottom was standing there looking shaky and upset. This was definitely a first.

"What can I do for you Mr Longbottom?"

"I came about your husband, sir."

Severus looked at the boy. "What about Harry? I was told he has been sleeping it off in your tower."

Neville nodded. "He had some kind of fit this morning and ran from the tower."

"Fit?" Severus was now deeply concerned.

"He was saying something about get out of his head and was crying." Neville admitted.

Severus suddenly realized he was not feeling the bond pulling at him. "Dam it, Neville there is something you're not telling me."

"I gave him a potion. Luna said that it was for his headaches. I slipped it into his tea at breakfast." Neville admitted.

"You put a potion in his tea and you were not even sure what it was?"

Neville blanched. "Luna, she wouldn't hurt him. I thought she wouldn't lie to me."

Severus knew Neville would never purposely hurt Harry and knew the boy had been lied to. "We'll find him. Go get his friends and start looking."

When Neville left he tore off towards Slytherin and when he entered he found Draco and Luna talking. "My potions lab now" he barked.

He did not look to see their reaction but stormed out towards his lab and when he turned around he saw that they had both followed him.

"What did you give Longbottom to put in my husband's food?" Severus demanded.

Luna paled. "It was nothing."

"Something to help him that's all." Draco added.

"Then why did he have a fit and run from the room in visible pain and crying?" Severus demanded.

Draco went ghostly white. "It was an empathic potion. It was supposed to reverse the bond for 24 hours so he could feel what you have been through."

Luna nodded. "We thought if he could understand, then it would help him."

"If it doesn't kill him." Severus screamed.

Draco blanched. "How?"

"He is not only able to feel my emotions but he will feel a flood of my memories. His pain and all of his emotions over when I raped him will hit him again, from my perspective, on top of that my guilt over what I have done." Severus said.

Draco shook. "We thought he'd sense your love and your guilt but not this."

"He'll be hit by a backlash. It will feel like he is reliving his rape over and over. The pain will be worse then when it happened." Severus said.

Luna was sobbing. "We have to do something."

Severus glared at them. "You two need to start brewing an antidote immediately. I need to find my husband and try and save him before he does something foolish."

His link was severed but Severus desperately tried to think of where Harry might have fled to. Millions of things were running through his head. He knew Harry could not handle the backlash. He had to find his husband before it was too late. Some how he found himself at the room of requirements. He entered to find Harry kneeling on the ground and he could see a knife in the boy's hand.

"Harry No."

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Harry couldn't take it. His mind was suddenly being split in two by the pictures of the night Severus raped him. He saw it through his own eyes and through his husband's. He felt his own emotions inside his head and the emotions pouring into his husband as well. It was like a torrent of rain pounding down on him. The guilt his husband felt was tearing his innards to shreds. He couldn't breathe.

He came to the room of requirements and found himself in a bedroom so like a scene from Romeo and Juliet and saw a dagger there.

"I can't handle this any more. I can't take the pain. I have to shut it off." Harry sobbed.

He took the knife and held it in his hand. He kept trying to bring it down, to slice his wrists and end it but he couldn't/

Suddenly he heard. "Harry, no" and strong arms wrapping around him. The knife dropped to the floor.

"Severus." He sobbed desperately.

Severus held tight. "Harry please hang on. Draco and Luna are making an antidote. Please just hang on with me until they're done."

"I can't. The pain, I can't." Harry sobbed.

Severus held him rocking him against his chest. He had to try and do something. He had to ease Harry's pain. If he kept at it like this he would not last. The potion did not take long to brew but Harry did not seem to have much time.

"Harry come on speak to me, stay with me Harry."

"I am you and me, my pain inside of you, the guilt, the worry, I everything is pain." Harry cried.

"Shhh. Harry come on. We're here in the room of requirements. It's over. I swear to you I'll never do that to you again. I swear to you Harry."

"I can't, the images. Can't get rid of them. I keep seeing you rape me, me rape myself from your eyes. Please make it stop please." Harry begged.

There was nothing Severus could do but hold him and talk to him. He restrained Harry which was not hard for the boy was weak. He knew if he let the boy go he would plunge the dagger into his body. Harry felt not only Severus' guilt over what he had done to Harry but he felt his guilt over every rape, every murder, every crime he had been forced to commit as a double agent.

Luna came in the door. "The potion."

He took it from her and forced Harry's mouth open and made him swallow. "Come on Harry, please swallow this. The pain will go away."

Harry eventually swallowed it and his body went limp in Severus' arms. Severus scooped his husband up and carried him down to the dungeons and placed him in their bed. He felt his own bond return and the ache in his heart more intense then he had felt before.

"I love you Harry. I promise I'll make you see that, and not because of our bond."

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Luna and Draco sat pale faced in the sitting room. They had done what they thought was best and in the end they had nearly killed a person they both considered their brother.

Severus came out. "I should expel you both for this."

Draco nodded. "We never meant to. We thought he would just sense your emotions like you do with his."

"The potion does not just give him my abilities. It reverses the link. Anything I felt, he would feel, all my memories." Severus explained.

Luna started to understand. "Not just of that night either?"

"No. My guilt over every thing I was forced to do as a death eater. He would have lived it all through my eyes. He now has endured not only his own rape through his own body but mine as well." Severus said.

"But he will have also sensed your emotions? He'll know your love for him and that you were feeling guilty for what you had done?" Draco tried.

"Do you think after what he has just experience, he'll remember either? No. All he will remember is the pain and the memories he was flooded with. "Severus said.

Luna was starting to cry. "We just wanted to help him. We wanted him to realize that you loved him and to stop fighting the bond."

Severus sighed. "I know you both meant well but this will push him five steps back. When he wakes up even with the bond gone some of the memories will stay."

The two of them departed and Severus went over to the fireplace and made the one floo call he could think of to make. He called the one person he thought might be able to help him get through to Harry.

"Severus, what is wrong?" Lucius asked.

"I need your help." Severus said, and explained what had happened.

Lucius paled. "My son was a fool. I will help but I'm not sure what I can do."

"Lucius you know better then anyone what I have been through as a spy. Harry won't want me near him but perhaps he'll let you talk to him." Severus said.

Lucius agreed. "I'll come through when he wakes up. I don't know if he'll trust me but I'll do my best."

Severus was grateful. "Thank you Lucius."

"I think you need to put your memories in a pensieve. It'll help me explain to Harry better." Lucius added before he disappeared.

Severus spent the rest of the evening putting his own thoughts into the pensieve; any he might think would help Harry through this. He was not sure Lucius would be any help but he was desperate for anything to work right about now. He only wished Remus was not away in France still.


	9. the understanding

When Harry finally woke up his entire body was trembling and he could not make sense of what had happened. The flood of emotions and thoughts that had courses through his body was gone. He could still see some, he could see his own rape through his eyes, he could feel the shame and guilt ten fold still. It was not the over powering crush it had been the night before but it was sill there.

He suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He stumbled from the bed blindly trying to make his way to a bathroom. A hand grabbed him by the upper arm and steered him into the bathroom and helped him kneel next to the toilet. A cold hand was pressed against the back of his neck as he vomited. When he was done and could do no more he felt the arms guide him back to bed and even hand him a potion that helped with the pounding.

"My glasses?" He asked. Uncertain of who was there but thinking it was Remus.

He was handed his glasses and when he put them on he gasped. Lucius Malfoy was sitting next to him. "Harry, it's okay."

Harry wasn't sure how to react. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to try and talk with you."

"You've come to try and talk me into forgiving my husband." Harry accused him.

Lucius shook his head. "No Harry. You have every right to be angry and upset. I hoped though we could speak. I promise not to try and force Severus down your throat."

Harry looked at the man trying to read him. "Why?"

"Severus is my best friend and Draco cares about you like a brother. That means I care about you." Lucius admitted.

Harry wasn't sure why but he found himself believing this man. "What do you think you can say to me that your son and Luna have not already tried?"

Lucius used a levitating charm to bring a pensive over to the bed. "It's what I am going to show you Harry."

"Your memories?"

"No, your husband's." Lucius told him.

Harry reluctantly looked into the penseive. He saw memories of his husband's childhood. Many he had seen before and others he had not. He saw his husband being beaten by his father. He saw Severus being forced to take the death mark by his own family. He saw him forced to continue. He watched his husband rape countless women and vomit after it every time. He saw his husband contemplate suicide over and over. Then he watched not his own rape, but he watched his husband after he raped Harry, watched as he refused to take his own potion to give him peace. Watched as he saw Harry with the knife.

Lucius turned to him when they came back. "My son wanted to show you how Severus felt; he just went about it the wrong way."

Harry was pale. "He's been through all that? His father was worse then my relatives. I had no idea what he had been through all of these years."

Lucius nodded. "It does not condone what he did to you but can you at least understand where he is coming from?"

Harry shook his head. "I can see he feels guilty but he deserves to."

Lucius reached out to hold the boy's arms. "Harry whether you love him or hate him, he loves you. He was wrong in not telling you the truth from the start, He admits that. He was wrong in not giving you more time. But he wasn't wrong in wanting to save you."

"I should have been told. I should have been given time. They keep everything from me." Harry sobbed.

"Harry you have every right to be angry. I am not going to tell you how to feel or that you need to listen to him or even forgive him."

Harry was taken back by that. "You're not? Everyone tells me I need to give him a chance to talk. That he loves me, I need to listen."

"You won't get that from me. You are entitled to your feelings and your pain. Both are justified. Don't let anyone make you think that they aren't."

Harry felt himself lean into the man's arms."Why couldn't they trust me with the truth? How am I supposed to ever accept this marriage now?"

Lucius held him tight. "Try being friends. Try making peace with Severus. No one expects you to love him. At least call a truce."

Harry shuttered. "They expect me to love him. They keep reminding me I'm his soul mate, I'm his bond."

"That doesn't mean you are in love now or even you ever will be. That comes with time and care. It just means you're linked. Just let him be a part of your life."

"And the physical link?"

"You only need to be together touching for a few hours. If you choose not to share a bed with him that is your choice. The consummation you do have to do once a year but even if you become friends and it is simply that, is that so bad?" Lucius asked.

Harry conceded it was not. "Would he agree to that? He says he loves me. Will he be satisfied with that?"

Lucius nodded. "He does love you. He'll do what it takes to make you at peace. If he has to sleep on the couch and make love to you once a year, he will."

Harry sat there for a time speaking to Lucius. Lucius told him about the young man he had known at school and been close to. They had both been forced to take the mark by their families and had both become spies. Harry could see another side of his husband through talking to Lucius. Draco had tried but Draco had tried to make Harry fall in love with Severus or forgive him. Lucius would not force Harry. Lucius did not want to show Harry anything but the human side of his husband.

Harry turned to Lucius as the man was about to leave. "Thank you. You really are a good friend to my husband."

Lucius turned back to Harry and hugged him. "I'm your friend as well. I want you both to be happy. Just think about what I have said."

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Severus was in the sitting room when Harry finally came out of the bedroom hours later and looked at his husband. Severus had not slept in what seemed like days and Harry could tell.

"Severus." Harry said.

The man looked up from the book in his hands. "Harry."

Harry took a seat across from him. "Thank you for sending Lucius to talk to me."

Severus hid a sigh of relief for he had been worried. "Did it help?"

Harry nodded. "It was nice to have someone who was not trying to tell me I need to listen and forgive you."

Severus shook his head. "I never meant that Harry. I never meant to pressure you to forgive me."

Harry could understand him. "I just feel like everyone is pressuring me to be in love with you because of this bond. Everyone tells me what I should think and feel."

Severus walked over to sit next to him. "Harry, I love you but I do not expect the same from you. I loved you before the bond; the bond did not change that."

Harry was taken a bit surprised. "Before?"

Severus nodded. "Perhaps it took the ceremony to make he admit it but I did. I love you and even if we were not bonded, I would. I want to protect and care for you."

"I don't know even with the bond if I ever will feel the same way." Harry said.

"I don't care Harry. I'd settle for friends. Perhaps with time you'll come to feel more for me, but even if you don't, I will never try to make you." Severus opened up.

Harry sighed. "I can forgive you for what you did, you were saving me, Lucius made me see that but forgetting is another matter. It will take time for me to move past not the physical pain alone but the fact you did not trust me with the knowledge of why it was necessary, until right before you took me."

"I should have told you. I know that. I will do anything and take as much time as you need, to prove that to you."

"I agree to try and make this work. I will try and move beyond that night and build a relationship, even if only a friendship."

Severus smiled slightly. "That is all I can ask for from you."

"I am not ready to share a bed with you. I can't."

Severus nodded to a door Harry knew was not there before. "I had an extra bedroom added. I'll move into it until if and when you might be ready to share my bed."

Harry felt relief. "There will come a time. Even if only for the physical link. But for now I just can't. The memories are too fresh."

"I understand."

"Lucius said we just needed a bit of physical contact every night. That we did not need to sleep together." Harry said.

Severus nodded. "Even if we read together here on the couch in each other's arms, or even took a bath together, something."

"For an hour every night then." Harry said.

Severus nodded. "Harry. I had a question for you."

Harry looked up. "Yes?"

"Would you allow me to court you?"

Harry was not sure what to make of that. ""You want us to date?"

Severus smirked a bit. "Courting yes. I want to spend time with you, alone, getting to know you. I want us to get to know each other better, personally."

Harry nodded. "It sounds like it could help."

Severus smirk softened into a smile. "Perhaps it might not lead us past friendship but it couldn't hurt at least that."

Harry agreed. "I would like that."

Harry sat with Severus on the couch for some time and then he decided he needed to go and find Luna and Draco. He knew they were both feeling guilty about the potion they had given him. They should be, he thought. But they were still two of his closest friends. He knew the bond was part of it but some how he felt closer to them then Hermione and Ron.

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Luna was in the room of requirements with tears streaming down her cheeks and Draco was doing his best to try and comfort her. Neville had not spoken to her since the potions incident and Blaise was angry at Draco for the past few incidences, and Pansy was not much better either.

"You know Neville will come to his senses and forgive you Luna." Draco tried.

"Oh Draco, Harry is like a brother to him. He'll never forgive me for this." Luna sobbed.

Draco held her shoulders. "Just give him time to come around."

Any response he could have given was cut off by Neville himself who had come in. "Draco's right."

Luna looked up at her boyfriend. "You mean it?"

Neville came to hold her. "I love you, you're my soul mate. I'm angry you lied to me but I know you meant the best."

Harry had come in behind Neville. "I know you both meant the best though that doesn't mean I don't want to throttle you both."

Draco looked at him. "Harry I'm so sorry. I thought I was doing the best. The headaches were so bad, I thought Uncle Sev would be gone before you woke."

"And the potion we thought you'd simply be empathic like your husband, not that you'd react as you did." Luna offered.

Harry nodded. "I understand and I love you both for trying to help me. If you ever try and help me like that again though I'll feed you to the giant squid."

They both laughed and Draco turned to him. "What happened?"

Harry smiled and said. "Your dad happened." And explained the conversation he had with Lucius.

Draco sighed. "I know I should have asked for dad's help a long time ago. I guess he was better at this then I am."

Harry nodded. "I've agreed to work with my husband, friends first. He has asked to court me and I have said yes."

Luna smiled. "Courting? How romantic."

Draco smirked. "A bit backwards but I guess it works."

Harry nodded. "He'll move out of our bed until I invite him back to it. He's willing to take it as slow as I need him to."

When Harry went back to their apartments later he felt relief in knowing he had mended broken fences with his friends and that at the very least he was on the start of a road to becoming at the least friends with his husband. As they sat curled together in their boxers under a blanket that night with their arms about each other and reading a book each, Harry felt the warmth of the bond for the first time. He could feel the comforting presence and the gentle touch of it, and not the pain and fear he had only felt before.


	10. the injury

Harry woke up the next morning in their large bed alone. He felt a bit strange. He had told Severus he would move into the guest room as this was Severus' room but his husband would have none of it. This was their marriage bed. He had told Harry he would not re-enter it until invited to share it with Harry. Therefore Harry would be the one to have their bedroom.

Harry found his way to the bathroom to take a shower and changed before he went into the sitting room. He found a flower and a note on the table.

"Morning. I had a meeting before breakfast. I hope you slept well. Severus' was all it read.

Harry smelled the flower and placed it back in the vase. "I could get used to that." He grabbed his book bag and headed up to the great hall.

As he took his seat at the Gryffindor table he turned to the head table but his husband had yet to come. Hermione smiled. "Feeling better?"

Harry nodded. "Much." He bit down into a piece of toast and took a drink of his juice.

He was eating another piece when his husband came into the hall. He passed Harry but as he did he said. "Sleep well Harry?"

Harry nodded and simply said. "Thank you." It was both a response and a thank you for the flower, which Severus knew and nodded briefly.

Ron was totally oblivious as usual. "He seems to be in a better mood."

Hermione was a little less oblivious. "Why did you thank him?"

Harry shrugged. "We just had a nice talk last night, nothing else."

They got up and headed for their first class of the day and Harry surprised his friend's by taking a seat with Draco at his table as well as Blaise. He had started spending more time with them but he usually stuck with his friends in class.

Severus noticed as he entered the class but just smirked. He wrote the directions on the board. "Get started."

As they were cutting up ingredients Blaise turned to Harry. "Things better now?"

Harry nodded. "Thanks Blaise."

"Just to let you know I threatened to hex Draco if he ever tried anything like that again." Blaise told him.

Draco heard and nodded. "He did, several times over. I swore to him I'd never be that stupid again."

Harry laughed. "You guys are great friends. Sorry I didn't get to know you better before last year."

Harry found himself sitting with them through other classes they had together that day. If the war had done anything it had made many of the students realize that the division between houses was stupid. For many houses were simply places they slept now, and the only real competition was on the quiditch field.

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The entire quiditch year had been squeezed into one term for it had been cancelled last term due to the attacks on Halloween. The school had voted to bring the game back in honour of those who had died and to try and resume a normal school year again. Harry had his team practicing extra hard to make up for missed practices while he was out, as they were playing Slytherin in a few days.

After practice Harry collapsed down on a bench exhausted. "We have to beat the snakes. I want the house cup this year."

Ginny smiled. "Harry, it's only the first game of the season. Take it easy on us or you might have a mutiny on your hands."

Harry laughed. "I just want to see the look on Sev's face when I beat his team."

Though he had won every game he had ever played against the snakes in the past five years, he had never been married to their head of house. For some reason it was more incentive to win. He couldn't wait to see the look on his husband's face.

They headed back into the castle and he started for the dungeons. "See you guys tomorrow in classes and practice after dinner."

The team groaned and he could hear Ronald whisper. "Perhaps we can lock him up some where."

Harry found his husband on the couch in the sitting room. "How was your practice?"

Harry smiled. "I'm going to pounce your snakes again."

Severus chuckled. "I'm not sure I am going to be able to enjoy this game as much as usual."

Harry raised his eyebrows at his husband. "And why not?"

"Because I'm not going to know who to cheer for, my husband or my house?"

Harry had to smile at the thought his husband might actually cheer for Gryffindor. "You can cheer for us both. Thought perhaps not openly for me or you might get hexed by hour house."

Severus nodded and shifted the blanket he was covered by to let Harry see he was only in his boxers. Harry smiled and grabbing a book which he propped up on the edge of the couch, slipped from his own clothes down to his boxers and took a place in his husband's lap, head back against his left shoulder. Harry felt his husband's arms around him as they both began to read and felt quite at ease their.

Severus smiled a few hours later when he noticed Harry had fallen asleep. "Too exhausted from practice."

He manoeuvred his husband so he could scoop the boy up and carried him into their bedroom where he placed Harry in the bed and covered him with blankets. He wished he could climb into bed with Harry but he fought the urge as he remembered the promise that he had made.

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On Saturday the first game of the quiditch season started and Harry faced off against Draco in the game. He and Draco might have become like brothers off the field but they were still furiously competitive when it came to being on the field, and neither would have had it any other way.

He and Draco spent most of the game playing cat and mouse until Harry saw the snitch flying just above the ground and went into a fantastic dive for it. Draco tried to follow but he was no match for Harry and had to pull up before Harry did.

Just as Harry pulled out and up from the dive with the snitch in his hand he heard Draco's scream of warning. "Harry, watch out."

Even though the whistle had been blown to signal the end of the game a Slytherin beater had winged a bludger right at him intentionally. Harry did not hear the warning soon enough and was thrown from his broom by the impact of the bludger,

Draco had acted quickly though and was able to get under him and catch Harry before he fell too far. "Got you Harry."

Harry felt Draco's arm around him as they descended to the ground but the world was starting to go fuzzy all around him. "Thanks Draco."

The last thing he saw was his husband rushing to his side before he blacked out.

Severus looked at the beater. "What kind of stunt was that?"

The boy shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't hear the whistle blow."

Severus glared at him. "The whistle had gone and the game was stopped. You have detention for the next week and lose 20 points for Slytherin."

The boy looked pale and tried to argue. "You can't do that to me. It was an innocent mistake."

"I know an intentional attack on a student when I see it. Now out of my sight before I give you another week's detentions."

When the boy had scurried off Severus scooped his husband up into his arms as carefully as he could so he would not cause his husband any more physical pain then the bludger would have caused, and carried him up to the hospital wing to be checked on by Madam Pomfrey. He watched nervously as the woman fed his husband pain and healing potions, and set his shoulder.

"He should sleep until morning." Madam Pomfrey informed him.

Severus nodded. I'll stay with him."

She nodded and left the room. Severus remained most of the evening in the chair though he did spend about two hours bare chested with the boy in his arms in bed as to help the bond and not cause Harry any more discomfort.

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Harry woke up the next morning not knowing where he was and groaned when he realized he was in the hospital wing again. It was by no surprise his least favourite place to be. He wondered how he had got here and the memories of the quiditch game came flooding back to him.

He noticed Severus in a chair by the bed. "How long has he been there?"

He had not expected a response but got one. "All night."

Harry turned to see Draco who had come in. "Have I really been out for nearly 24 hours?"

Draco nodded. "Almost exactly, its 10 on Sunday morning. Pomfrey gave you some potions to sleep while your shoulder healed."

Harry looked down at his arm in a sling. "Hopefully it heals before the next game."

Harry heard his husband shifting in his chair and noticed that Severus had woken up and watched as his husband craned his neck and stretched to try and get a crink out of it from sleeping in the chair.

"Why did you sleep there all last night?" Harry asked when Severus was finally fully awake.

He smiled. "I wanted to make sure you were all right and to be here when you woke up."

"Why did you sleep in a chair?"

Severus shrugged. "I wanted to be closer then one of the other beds if you needed something and I swore to you I would not share your bed until you asked."

Harry felt a bit bad that Severus had slept in a chair because of him. "Thank you."

Madam Pomfrey came into the room and gave him an once over and declared that he would be okay to head back to his rooms but he was to take it easy for a week on the arm. That meant she told him in no uncertain terms, he was to have no quiditch practice.

Draco laughed. "Should make your team happy. I have heard a lot of talk of mutinies."

Harry smiled. "She said I couldn't play. Doesn't mean my team can't be practicing. I can coach from the sidelines just as well."

Severus shook his head at his husband and was just grateful it had been nothing more then his shoulder. They both knew they owed Draco for that and before Harry let Severus walked him back downstairs he turned to Draco.

"Thanks for saving me on the field. I'd probably have broken my neck otherwise." Harry said.

Draco nodded. "What are friends, brothers, for?"

Severus lead Harry down to their rooms where he got his husband situated comfortably on the couch so Harry, making sure to take it easy and not jostle his left arm, could work on his homework he had not finished yet. As Severus watched him part of him wanted to forbid Harry ever from playing quiditch again for he could not stand his husband in pain like this but he knew how well that would go over.

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Harry decided he wanted to take a bath that evening and Severus put a repellent spell on his bandages to allow him to take a bath without worrying. He was able to get into the water but he found it nearly impossible to clean himself.

Severus came in to check he was okay and Harry turned. "Would you mind helping me get my back? I can't seem to."

Severus nodded and ended up in the water with Harry. He slowly soaped up a sponge and began to wash Harry's back for him. Harry relaxed under his touch and when they were finished Severus left him to get out.

As Harry sat on the edge of his bed in his bottoms Severus came in. "I have some salve that will help with your arm. Can I put some on you?"

Harry nodded. "That would be okay."

Severus poured some of the warm salve on to his palm and began rubbing it into the shoulder first and then into the rest of the arm.

Harry sighed. "That feels a lot better already.

Severus smiled. "I'm happy to hear that." And went to Harry's back giving him a slight massage, and his other arm, for the boy's muscles were tense from the injury.

It was enough contact to put them both at ease for the night so since Harry was too tired to do any reading they settled for it. Severus tucked his husband into bed and left the room. He had to admit it was a bit lonely when he resumed his reading on the couch. He had got used to having his husband read in his lap at night. Harry felt the same way as he drifted off. He had got used to their custom.


	11. the voice

Harry had only been asleep for about a half hour when his dream turned into a nightmare.

_Cold hands were against his neck, squeezing his throat making it nearly impossible for him to breath. He felt himself dragged over to the bed where he was forced down onto his back and looking up he saw his husband looming over him with an evil smirk on his face. He tried to scream but the long fingered hand of his husband trapped the scream in his mouth, as the other hand tore Harry's robe from his body, seemingly the only clothes he wore for some reason, and his boxers. _

"_You little freak, I enjoyed it so much last time I'm going to enjoy it again this time." The voice sneered but it wasn't his husband's_

_The man was his husband in form but the voice wasn't. The voice lacked the cool silky tones of Severus and it scared him more. Severus held Harry by the neck with both hands, cutting off his air supply enough that Harry began to black out as the man began to thrust into him over and over again._

"_Good little freak, going to teach you how to earn your keep already."_

_The voice kept going on and on as the man on top of him drove into him, the hands releasing pressure now and then to make sure Harry did not pass out. The voice, the voice._

Harry's body was thrashing wildly in the bed and his screams started to break through from the dream and fill the room. Suddenly the door was thrown open and his husband came running into the room.

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Severus had found that he was unable to read for he was distracted and had gone next door into his private potions lab. He was not having much luckier at it when a house elf appeared.

"Master Snape" The house elf bowed.

"Dobby" Snape responded, knowing the former Malfoy house elf well.

"Master needs to go see Master's husband. Master Harry is in trouble."

Snape paled. "Dobby what's wrong?"

"Master Harry is thrashing around and screaming. Dobby worried. Dobby care about Master Harry Could not wake Master Harry."

Severus turned off the fire as he had barely started the potion any ways and ran back into his rooms where the moment he entered he could hear both his husband screaming and thrashing in bed. He ran into the room.

"Harry" he said and ran across to the bed.

Taking his husband into his arms he tried to stop the boy's thrashing and calm him. "Come on, wake up Harry, please it's just a bad dream. Wake up now."

Harry's thrashing stopped and his breathing began to calm. He opened his eyes eventually. "Severus"

Severus nodded. "You were having a bad dream."

Harry realized he was in his husband's arms and flinched trying to pull away and Severus settled Harry back against the pillows. "Sorry" Harry gasped out.

"Do not apologize either for the bad dream or flinching. I'm sorry for touching you; I just needed to wake you." Severus explained.

Harry nodded. "Thank you for waking me."

Severus sighed. "Can you tell me what the dream was about?" He had a good feeling he already knew but he knew Harry had to speak about it.

"I was in the room getting dressed, and you came in and you raped me." Harry said so quietly that Severus barely could hear him.

Severus shook his head. "You know Harry that I will never lay a hand on you again right? I know it'll take time to forget what I did, but I swear I'd never do it again."

Harry nodded. "It was different. You were gentle. In the dream you were brutal and were calling me names. But the voice was wrong."

"The voice?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded. "It wasn't yours. It was you but not the voice. It sounded more like my..." his voice trailing off.

Severus knew they were getting some where. "It sounded like you're what, Harry?"

"My Uncle. It sounded like my uncle when he used to call me a freak and an abomination." Harry finally got out.

Severus paled. "Did he ever touch you, rape you?"

Harry shook his head. "No. He would beat me and often lock me in my cupboard with no food. But he never raped me. He came close when drunk a few times."

It was all starting to make cruel sense to Severus. "Harry, why didn't you tell us?"

"I tried telling my teachers when I was little and no one believed me. Professor Dumbledore knew some of it and never helped. I didn't think anyone cared." Harry said.

"There are many people who care about you, the Weasleys, your friends." Severus said.

Harry felt a prick of tears. "I didn't want their pity, they already gave me enough of that. Sirius cared but he's gone, and Remus but he's left me."

Severus could see why his husband had such a hard time trusting him. He had been orphaned and left with relatives who beat and starved him. His godfather was killed and the closest thing to a parent he had left had fled to France to heal and had not been back. He had not realized just how much that hurt Harry.

"Remus would be back in a minute if he knew how much pain you were in. He thought going away to heal was best for both of you." Severus said.

"Remus needs his time to get over Sirius and this war. I won't burden him with this." Was Harry's response.

"Harry you are not a burden, I want you to tell me when you're upset, about your past, everything. I want to be able to help you."

Harry nodded his head. "Okay."

Severus brought a dreamless sleep potion out. "Here drink this. It'll help you get some sleep for the night."

Harry drank the potion and crawled back under the blankets but as Severus turned to leave Harry stopped him. "Could you stay in here with me?"

Severus wasn't sure. "Are you sure about that Harry?"

He nodded. "Just until I fall asleep."

Severus took a seat at the edge of the bed and found Harry placed a hand in his hands, the only contact that Harry would permit but after the dream he had just suffered, Severus was amazed he had not kicked Severus out of the room sooner, not alone asked him to stay until he fell asleep. Progress of sorts, he thought.

When Harry fell asleep he went and wrote a note and swore to send it with his owl in the morning. If Harry was ever going to get over what Severus had done to him and learn to trust, he needed to also heal from the old wounds. Severus knew one person who could help Severus reach Harry, and that was Remus Lupin.

"I just hope that damned werewolf has come to his senses." Severus growled as he headed off to bed.

Part of the reason Remus had left was because the wolf inside of him was mourning the death of Sirius still who the wolf blamed Harry for the death of. Harry had no idea. Remus would be help to Harry but only if the wolf's anger had calmed. If he was still fighting the battle, Severus knew it was better Remus stay away.

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In the morning Harry came out of his room and looked a bit more refreshed after the dreamless sleep potion. Severus took a chance to take a look at his arm and when he was assured that Harry was in good enough shape, watched his husband head for breakfast and classes. He went to the owlery first to send the e letter. The school week ended without a response from Remus and he thought it was a sign that the wolf had not been tamed yet.

On Saturday morning Severus had an idea. "Harry. Are you still up for a bit of courting as I suggested?"

Harry looked up from the text he had been going through. "I guess."

Severus motioned for him to follow and lead his husband up the stairs. "I thought we could take a walk around the lake and just talk for a bit."

Harry smiled. "That sounds good."

The two of them grabbed cloaks and they headed on to the grounds. They did not hold hands or link arms as many young student couples could be seen doing on such walks but Harry was close enough that they were nearly touching. Baby steps, Severus reminded himself.

"I would like to know a bit more about your childhood Harry, if you'd tell me." Severus broke the ice.

Harry had known this was coming all week since the bad dream. "I'm not sure where to start."

Severus didn't want to push the boy so he just asked gently. "Do you remember when your Uncle started to hit you?"

"I can't really remember a time when he didn't. He hated magic, him and my Aunt. They thought they could stomp the freakishness out of me."

Severus shivered at that. He remembered Petunia from his days as friends with Lily. He had known the woman hated magic and even that the sisters had a falling out but he had never imagined Lily's sister would treat a child like that. His stomach churned as Harry shared stories of beatings, being burned on the stove, of hours of chores in the summer and being locked up with no food if he didn't finish them.

All of Harry's trust issues made more and more sense. "Harry, you know that I would never purposely harm you right"

Harry shrugged. "I guess."

"Listen to me Harry, I love you. I know you have trouble believing people care about you. Those who do seem to leave you. But I swear I'm not going any where."

Harry looked at him. "That's what Sirius and Remus both said and they both left me like my parents."

"Sirius and your parents had no choice. They would never have left you if they had. I will not leave you as long as I have a choice in the matter."

Harry was not convinced. "Remus left me. Took off after the war. I haven't even heard from him."

Severus was not sure what to say to it but any need to respond was cut off by the entrance of the one person that neither Harry or Severus had really imagined they would be seeing that day or any time soon, Remus Lupin.

"Hey cub." Remus said.

Harry stared blankly at the man for a moment or two before he launched himself across the grass. "Remus." And threw himself at the man.

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Remus had been in the south of France near Fleur's family healing since the war. He had been battling with the emotions of the loss of the last of his friends, Sirius. He had known that it had been Sirius' mistake that got him killed but the wolf in him had blamed Harry for the loss of his mate. He had not wanted to abandon his godson but while he healed he could not take the wolfsbane potion and he wouldn't put Harry through the pain.

He was just back on the potion when he had got the letter from Severus asking him to come. It had taken a few days for him to make the arrangements to get here. He had been trying to decide if it was right to come back yet, for weeks now. Severus' letter had just made his choice for him.

"Hey cub." He shouted as he saw Harry and Severus taking a walk.

He felt Harry launch himself at Remus and he smiled. Even Moony was at peace now as well. Moony could smell the boy and knew that the boy was his cub and a member of his pack, and the wolf was well tamed.

"I missed you cub." Remus said.

Harry looked up at him. "Then why did you stay away so long?"

He could see the pain and sense of betrayal in his cub's eyes. "I'm sorry cub. As I healed I could not take the wolfsbane. I was worried I'd say things and hurt you."

Harry drew away from him. "You blame me for his death? That's why you stayed away."

Remus shook his head. "Moony was mourning his pack partner but Remus never blamed you. Now that I have healed, even Moony does not blame you cub."

Harry looked like he was debating whether it was the truth but relief showed on his face. "I'm just glad you're back."

Remus hugged him again. "Your husband told me you might be in need of your honorary godfather right about now and I couldn't stay away any longer."

Harry turned to look at Severus. "You sent for him?"

Severus nodded. "I told you I'd do anything to make you feel better and help you heal. If that means having the wolf around, then I'll learn to deal with it."

Harry sent a grateful smile at his husband. "I wish you had been able to be at my wedding Moony. Luna stood for me as my witness instead."

Remus laughed at hearing this. "Odd choice but I'm sure she'll do her job well. I was your mum's witness at her wedding you know?"

Harry had not known but it made sense. "How long are you staying for?"

"As long as you need me here cub. Professor Dumbledore has given me a guest apartment here so I can stay close." Remus explained.

As the three men headed back up to the castle he had to admit how grateful he was to his husband. There were things he could tell Remus he could tell no one else. Remus was his last living link to his parents and to his godfather. Severus proved more that he cared for Harry. He was willing to put up with the werewolf in order to help Harry find some kind of peace. That said a lot.


	12. the talk

Remus sat in the sitting room of the dungeon apartments that belonged to his godson and his godson's husband. Remus had settled into the guest apartments he had been appointed and had been invited to have lunch with Harry and Severus. Severus had given them some time alone.

"Harry, I need you to talk to me." Remus finally said.

Harry looked up from his tea. "Okay."

"Harry you know you can tell me anything about what happened when you were a kid, right?" Remus tried again.

Harry didn't seem so sure. "It's nothing really. I mean you and Sirius already knew about the cupboard and the lack of food and everything."

Remus came to sit next to him. "Harry we both know there is more to this then simple abuse and neglect."

Harry shook his head. "No, there isn't."

Remus took his chin in his hands. "Harry, be honest. Severus told me about your dream you had. You would not have reacted like that if something wasn't up."

Harry tried to pull away. "He never raped me, I swear it."

"You know you don't have to protect him Harry. I care about you, you're my cub. I want to help you Harry."

Harry was still dealing with the pain. "I needed you before. I needed you when the war was over. You left me."

Remus sighed. "Harry I thought I explained that. Moony was still upset. And without the wolfsbane potion, the weeks before my turn were rough. I couldn't put you through that. I would have broken you."

Harry wanted so much to believe it. "You're the closest thing to a parent I have left. I needed you to be there for me."

Remus pulled him into a hug. "I'm here for you now. I'm so sorry I couldn't be here before. I will forever regret that I couldn't."

Harry sighed. "I understand. It just hurts."

Remus wiped away some of Harry's tears. "I know. But cub I'm here now and I want you to talk to me."

Harry nodded. "What I told you is the truth, he never raped me."

Remus pressed. "But what you told Severus about him never touching you wasn't right either was it?"

Harry shook his head. "Just when he was drunk. He would come in and pull my bottoms down and would touch me. He would make me touch him to."

Remus felt like he was going to be sick. "Never any more? Just touching?"

Harry was sobbing by now. "Yes. He would call me freak and abomination; tell me I had to earn my keep."

Remy hugged Harry tightly and sat there rocking the boy against his chest for a time. He knew Harry needed this. Harry needed someone whom he could talk to and trust. He had friends but he had not had a parental figure before. Sirius was more like a brother. Molly and Arthur cared about him but they weren't his parents. Remus knew he needed to step up and fill that role. Harry might be nearly an adult and married, but he needed a father figure more then ever.

"I think we should bring Severus in and talk with him." Remus suggested.

Harry nodded. "I think maybe you're right."

Remus asked. "Would you like me to tell him what you've said before he comes, or would you like to re-tell the story?"

Harry shook at the idea of having to say it all again. "Can you do it please?"

He nodded his head for he knew it would make it some what easier for Harry that way. Remus waited until Harry was calmed down enough and then he went in search of Severus to bring him back so that they could have a talk together.

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Severus walked into the sitting room and saw his husband curled up in a ball on the couch with his arms wrapped around his legs. Remus had already told him all that had gone on in their conversation, before he had come in. He was sick to his stomach at the thought of what that horrid man had done to his husband.

Harry looked up at him. "Sev. Did Remus tell you?"

Severus nodded. "I wish you had been able to tell me Harry."

Harry shook his head. "I couldn't. I just couldn't."

Severus took a seat on the table across from Harry as Remus sat next to his husband. "I know. I'm just happy you told someone."

Remus looked between them. "Harry I have a feeling that part of your anger at Severus is more about what happened to you as a kid."

Harry looked at Remus with a mix of confusion and pain. "What do you mean?"

"I think perhaps that if you hadn't been hurt by your Uncle, you might have seen that Severus was trying to help and you would have participated."

Harry shook his head. "I don't know."

"Can you tell me that not at least a small part of your refusal was an aversion to being touched by anyone, not alone Severus?" Remus asked.

Harry looked back and forth between them and down at his hands. "Some of it was."

Remus made him look up at him. "You have been taught to think sex is painful and shameful Harry. But it doesn't have to be."

Severus nodded. "I am so sorry that I made your first time with sex to be another traumatic and painful experience for you."

Harry looked at his husband. "You didn't, well not painful at least. I mean you were being as gentle as you could be."

Severus nodded. "I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted to reach out and comfort you so many times but I knew I might stop and I had to continue, for both of us."

Harry shook. "I understand, I do, that you were trying to save me. I just, it just made me think of my Uncle. Being forced to do something that I didn't want."

Severus reached out to hold Harry's hand and Harry did not flinch or move it. "Harry, I swear you never have to fear being forced again. By me or anyone else either."

Remus kept an arm around Harry. "Harry when you came to school you saw there were people who loved you. People who respected you, cared for you, right?"

Harry nodded. "You and Sirius, the Weasleys, my friends."

"But before you had only known the care of your so called relatives. But you learned to be able to trust other people and their love for you." Remus said.

Harry nodded. "But that's different."

"It is but in the way the same too. You need to learn to trust that people can touch, and kiss and caress you without pain, without trying to hurt you." Remus said. "Severus doesn't want to rape you, he wants to make love to you. He wants to please you, not cause you pain."

Harry looked down at the hand over his. "I know. I mean he has been gentle with me, and patient with me."

Severus squeezed the hand a bit. "And I will continue to be. I'll wait again till your ready. I promise. I do love you Harry."

Remus could see their words were starting to sink in with Harry slowly. "I know it takes time Harry but please give us both a chance."

Harry looked at Remus. "Both?"

Remus nodded. "I have never been the dad figure I should have been after James died. Part of me thought you didn't really need one because you were almost grown up but I was wrong. You need one more then ever. I would like to be that for you if you'll have me."

Harry sunk into his hug. "I'd like that Remus. I've never really had anyone I could call my dad before."

Remus turned Harry to look at Severus. "Give him a chance to. I don't mean make love to him or even share a bed but get to know him. Even if it is just starting by holding hands and taking walks like I saw you today, just be with him. Let Severus who you what it means to have someone who genuinely loves you."

Harry returned the squeeze of the hand ever so slightly. "I'll try."

Severus nodded. "That's as much as I can ask. I promise as slow as you need. I'll be patient I promise."

"Now one more promise Harry"

"What?"

"You will talk to us. Any more memories and flashbacks, any other thing bothering you. You need to talk to us. We want to help you." Remus explained.

Severus agreed. "And if not us, then Madam Pomfrey or we can even take you to see a psyciatrist at St Mungoes if that would be easier for you."

Harry shrunk at the mention of a doctor. "No, please no doctors."

Remus squeezed his shoulders. "No doctors unless you want one Harry. Just promise us to keep talking."

Harry nodded. "I promise."

Remus stayed with them for dinner that evening talking but they moved on for they knew that Harry had enough of that talk for the night. It would take time for both Harry to let Severus get physically close again, and for Harry to fully open up about the abuse he had suffered as a child. It killed Remus that because he was a werewolf he could not have been Harry's guardian growing up and had not been able to spare him from this.

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After dinner Remus returned to his rooms. Harry had been a bit reluctant to see him leave but Remus promised he was not leaving the school any time soon. He had not told Harry yet but Dumbledore had asked him to consider coming back in the fall as the DADA teacher as the current one was an auror on loan.

When they were alone Harry turned to his husband. "Were you planning on reading tonight?"

Severus nodded. "You know we had a lot of contact before, you don't need to read with me tonight, if you prefer not too."

Harry shrugged. "Then I guess I'll just go and read in my room." Severus could see the flash of disappointment in his eyes as he turned away.

Severus stopped him. "You know you could just curl up next to me on the couch and we could keep each other company as we read."

Harry smiled and fetched his book and went and curled up on the couch next to Severus. He knew the boy's disappointment in not reading together could not be really counted as a baby step. Harry as Severus had, had just grown use to the comfortable pattern of reading together like this. Harry made sure that even when he had read right in his husband's lap, Severus' hands had never actually been touching him, and Harry made the only contact in his positioning. Other then when he had tended Harry's shoulder and when they were holding hands talking to Remus, the physical contact was as limited as possible.

Harry stayed with him for about an hour and a half before he decided to call it a night. "Good night Sev."

Severus smiled slightly at the nickname. Only his husband he decided could get away with it. "Night Harry."

As Harry walked into his room Severus knew what a long process this was going to be but he had not been lying when he told Harry he could be patient, and he would be. This was his soul mate and he would wait for Harry to be ready.


	13. the baby steps

Severus was taken a bit by surprise the following weekend. Friday night found Harry in his customary position curled up in his husband's lap in boxers, a blanket tucked around them for added warmth. His arm had been bothering him as the text he had chosen to read was quite heavy and he found it awkward reading with only his one hand.

He felt Harry's fingers brush against the skin of his free arm that hung by his side and Severus tried to hide his surprise as Harry took his arm and shifted it, so it came across Harry's chest allowing him to hold the book with both hands but also making it so he was hugging Harry against him.

He looked down at Harry's blazing green eyes. "Sure?"

Harry nodded. "You should be comfortable too."

Severus gave a slight smile. "Thank you. My arm was growing slightly tired."

Harry just went back to his reading but Severus heard a slight. "Your welcome."

Severus had to admit that it was not just about the relief of a better reading position. The feel of his husband slightly pinned to his chest by his arm, felt good. A step, a small one but a step Severus reminded himself.

Eventually Harry grew tired and Severus could sense the exhaustion in his husband's frame. "You can head off to bed if you're tired."

Harry shook his head and simply put down the book. "I wouldn't mind just staying here and watching the fire for a bit."

Not anxious to have his husband out of his arms yet Severus smiled. "I wouldn't mind that."

Harry sat there, his head resting against his husband's heart and feeling surprisingly content with the arm about his waist, and looked into the flames dancing in the hearth of the fireplace. He felt more relaxed with his husband then he had ever felt before.

That night as he stood up to go to bed he turned back. "I thought perhaps we could take a walk like we did last week." Harry suggested.

Severus smiled. "I'd like that a lot Harry."

"Good night then Severus." Harry said and turned back towards his room.

"Good night Harry."

Severus went to bed that evening feeling a bit more at ease then he had until now. Harry was taking very small steps but steps at that. It was the first time Harry had suggested any time together between them, other then their nightly reading.

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The two had breakfast together in their rooms as they usually chose to do on weekends and then headed out on the walk that Harry had suggested the night before. He had no idea what had possessed him to ask his husband but as they headed into the grounds, he felt a sense of contentment he could not describe.

They walked in silence for a while along the edge of the lake when they came to a tree. "You know this was my favourite spot when I was a student." Severus offered.

Harry remembered seeing it in his pensieve but he didn't thankfully mention that. "I have studied under it a few times."

Severus smiled. "Your mother and I in the warm months would cram for exams here."

Harry would have thought being reminded his mother and husband were childhood friends would have bothered him but it didn't. "What was she like?"

Sev knew Harry had few stories of his mother. "Intelligent, an amazing heart. Scary if you got on her bad side though."

That thought made Harry laugh. "Scary?'

"Your mum could rival the marauders in knowledge of hexes. There's a reason she was Flitwick's favourite." Severus told him.

Harry's only real stories he had heard of his mum were from the marauders and had mainly been about when she was with James, when they were married, when Harry was born. His mother had certainly calmed down a bit by then.

Sev looked at him. "I hope you don't mind me bringing up your mum."

Harry shook his head. "I like hearing about her. I haven't had many stories of her."

They sat down under the tree for a while after Severus had cleared a spot to make sure they wouldn't get wet from the snow or cold. They sat looking out over the water and talked for a while about Harry's mother. Severus had never thought Harry's mother would be a good link for him to his husband but it seemed she was.

Severus noticed the time and their hunger. "We should be heading back. It is nearing lunch."

Harry nodded. "My stomach does seem to be telling me that."

Severus stood up and without really thinking he offered his hand to Harry to help him up. After only a moment Harry took his hand and let Severus draw him to his feet but their hands lingered together for a moment. Harry drew it away eventually but there was a bit of color in his cheeks and a smile on his face.

Harry turned slightly as they walked back to the castle. "I wish it was not already lunch. I could have stayed out a bit longer."

Severus knew the feeling. "Perhaps next time we can ask the house elves to pack us a picnic lunch, and then we can stay out longer."

Harry responded with a slight smile. "I'd like that."

As they entered the great hall Severus went and took his place at the teacher's table and Harry to his surprise went and joined Draco at the Slytherin table. He watched his husband as he was eating, seeing Harry speaking to Draco while he ate. He had almost taken back the suggestion of the picnic but was happy when Harry had not shot it down.

'He's turning you into a hormonal teenager again' Sev thought to himself. Well hormonal teenager or not, he liked the way Harry was making him feel.

Remus was watching Severus from one chair over and smiled. "Have a good walk in the grounds?"

Severus shrugged. "Yes." He was not about to share his feelings with the werewolf, no matter his relationship with Severus' husband.

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Harry went to talk with Draco and Luna after lunch as he knew his husband would be in his lab working. He was starting to be a bit confused by all this and wanted to talk to his friends. Hermione and Ron really couldn't understand how he was feeling.

Draco looked over at Harry as they flopped into chairs in the room of requirements. "How's it going?"

Harry sighed. "Good I guess. I mean we have made a bit of progress."

Luna was smiling. "Progress?"

"I asked him to take a walk with me this morning. He helped me to stand up and out hands lingered together for a moment." Harry admitted.

Anyone else hearing this would have laughed at the thought that hands lingering together as such would leave someone blushing but Draco and Luna both knew better. They both knew what a big step it was for Harry to be initiating the walk and to allow even the smallest of contact with his husband other then the necessary bit.

"He's being so patient with me. I know it must be driving him crazy waiting." Harry said.

Draco just shook his head. "You know he loves you. He's always been pretty patient Harry. You have to be, to be a potions master or you'd blow yourself up."

"I guess." Harry conceded.

Luna heard his tone. "Do you doubt that Harry? Has he given you reason to?"

"No" Harry said adamantly. "He has given me no reason. I just feel bad that he wants more from this relationship then I can give him right now."

Draco smirked. "Uncle Sev has been alone for years, Harry. He can wait until you're ready. He's not a hormonal teenager."

Harry had to laugh at that. "No, there is only one of those in this marriage."

Harry spent the afternoon with his friends in the room of requirements. When they went down for dinner he was starting to feel a bit more reassured. He just needed to know deep down that Severus was okay with the slow progress of the baby steps that Harry had been making recently.

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That evening Harry slipped into his husband's arms and once again adjusted the right arm to allow it to slip around Harry's waist to allow Severus a more comfortable position to read. He noticed the arm lay exactly where he placed it and did not move from the spot. Severus would let Harry set where and now much contact they had.

Harry was reading up on his herbology homework and looked at Severus. "Do you have any crushed Fire crocus in your stocks?"

Severus was a bit surprised by the question, they usually read in silence. "I do. I use it in my own potions from time to time."

Harry had been reading about it in the chapter. "Could you show it to me one day? It sounds quite interesting and we have no full flowers in the greenhouses."

"I could show you tomorrow if you like? I'll be brewing wolfsbane for Remus and I use it in the brew." Severus suggested.

Harry accepted. "Could I help you with the potion? I've heard about it so much, I'd like to see how it is brewed."

Severus smirked. "As long as you follow directions better then in class. We won't want to poison your godfather."

Harry matched him smirk for smirk. "Here I thought you might want to try and knock off the werewolf."

Severus gave a slight chuckle. "On second thought perhaps I'll leave you to make the potion by yourself. Throw caution to the wind."

Harry laughed a bit and returned to his book but they both felt this certain easing of more tension as they had finished their talk. It might have been about brewing potions but as they usually sat in silence, it was a change for them.

Harry stood up later to go to bed and by instinct really he leaned down and kissed Severus on the cheek. "Good night." And then practically ran from the room.

Severus touched his hand to the cheek Harry kissed and said. "Good night Harry." More as a reaction then to Harry as the door was closed.

The kiss had lasted only a mere second and Harry's lips had barely touched his skin but Severus was left thinking of it all night. Baby steps were not all that bad. In his room Harry lay awake thinking for a while of the kiss. His heart was beating a bit faster. It was only a peck on the cheek, Harry reminded himself. Barely something for him to be blushing and thinking so much about.


	14. the accident

Severus sat in the front of a group of first years who were working on a potion. It was the first day back from the Easter break in early April. Severus' mind was lost though on his husband. Things had been going fine. Moving slow but moving. They walked a lot on the weekends and Harry had started holding his hand, and the arm he still allowed around him as they read. He had not kissed Severus even on the cheek since the first time though.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by a shout from one of the girls in the class. "John, you weren't supposed to add any of those yet."

Severus looked at the duo at the front and realized John's mistake from the clouds rising from the cauldron. "You added the quills already?"

The boy nodded and Severus motioned them to move away from the cauldron. "Everyone get down now."

Before Severus could turn off the fire though or react the potion exploded and he was coated in the substance. He fell to the floor unconscious, his face and arms looking like they were covered in acid.

The girls were screaming and John went pale. "We need to get him help now."

One of the young girls ran to the fireplace and saw where the professor kept his floo powder. "Infirmary" she called.

Madam Pomfrey was surprised to see a student calling. "What are you playing at girl?"

"Madam Pomfrey, we need help. Professor Snape he was hurt." Anne explained.

Madam Pomfrey quickly came through and noticed the condition the potions master was in. She ordered all of the students to turn off their cauldrons and leave, after asking what kind of potion it had been and what had gone wrong. She then levitated Severus through the floo.

Lowering him onto a bed she sent for Albus to come immediately and went to work tending Severus.

Albus appeared. "What happened to him?"

"Working on a sleeping potion in class, one of his students added quills too soon and it exploded." She explained.

Albus paled. "Is he going to be okay?"

Poppy sighed. "The burns are going to take a few days to heal. I'm not sure how long it'll take him to wake up. Such a large amount of the potion could knock him out for hours or days, depending how much seeped into his skin."

Albus nodded. "I should go and inform his husband of this."

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Harry had a free period that afternoon and had been out on the grounds with Draco, Luna and Hermione when they noticed Professor Dumbledore heading towards them at a fast pace.

"Harry. You need to come with me." He said.

Harry was shocked and a bit worried. "What's wrong Professor?"

"Your husband is in the hospital wing. There was an accident in the potions class." Albus explained.

Harry nearly collapsed at the news. Draco's hand at his elbow steadied him. "How is he?"

Albus sighed. "He's unconscious right now. Madam Pomfrey is not sure when he'll wake up."

Draco held tighter to Harry sensing his friend's legs were about to give out. "He'll be okay Harry."

They lead Harry into the castle and as he made his way up to the hospital wing, a million things were running through his mind. This man that only months ago he didn't even like and surely didn't want to marry; he suddenly was panicked that the man might not wake up again. His head swam with the worst possibilities.

When they got to the hospital wing he saw the matron. "Where is my husband?"

She nodded down the way at a bed. "He's there."

Harry didn't wait for any other explanation but practically ran to his husband's side. Severus lay on the bed covered only to his waist, his shirt was removed and half his upper body including parts of his waist were wrapped in bandages.

He looked at his husband and kissed the forehead which had not been hurt. "Please, you've got to be okay, I can't loose you."

Draco half smiled when he heard that but he turned to Madam Pomfrey. "He's going to be okay right?"

She looked at Harry. "The burns will heal in a few days. I'm not sure when he'll wake up though."

Harry sagged and would have collapsed but for Draco's arms about him. "He'll wake up though right?"

She nodded. "Yes. It was just a sleeping potion. We don't know how much soaked into his skin. It could be hours, it could be days, before he wakes."

Poppy shot a look at the headmaster knowing he had been playing a little game here. He had known that and had chosen not to tell Harry. She knew the old man liked to meddle but to let Harry panic his husband might die, all the way up here, to try and make Harry realize his feelings, was cruel. Luckily Harry was too concerned with his husband right now that he did not seem to have caught on.

Poppy looked at the boy. "He'll be okay. I can let you know when he wakes up."

Harry shook his head. "I'm not going any where. I'm staying here until he wakes."

Albus stepped forward. "Your classes?"

Draco stopped him. "I'll bring Harry his homework here. He can study here with his husband while he sleeps."

Dumbledore agreed and they left Harry alone with his husband for a time. Harry took the chair next to the bed and sat down in it. How many times had his friends sat by his bed when he was in here? Heck his husband had been by his side after his quiditch accident. He couldn't bring himself to leave. He wouldn't believe Poppy that he was okay until he saw his husband's eyes for himself.

"You have to be okay. I've just started to care about you. I can't lose you now." Harry said.

People came and went in the next 24hours and Harry ate and did his work but he never left his husband's side. Draco worried as Harry barely slept at all. Draco prayed his Uncle would wake soon for Harry's sake.

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Severus slowly came to his senses. His body was aching and his head pounded. As his eyes adjusted to the early morning light he wondered where he was. The last thing he remembered had been in potions class. He suddenly recalled the explosion though and realized he was in the hospital wing.

His eyes took in the bandaged arms and chest and then noticed a hand on his own and he turned his head. "Harry." He whispered.

Poppy came over. "You're awake. How are you feeling?" she asked in a whisper.

"A bit out of it and achy but fine. How long have I been out?"

"Two days now." Poppy explained.

"How long has he been sleeping there?" Severus asked, concerned for his husband.

"Sleeping, no idea. I had to slip him a sleeping draught in his food last night. He's been there since you were brought in. He's refused to leave." Poppy revealed.

Severus was surprised. Harry had stayed with him all of this time. "What about classes?"

She pointed at books and parchment on the next bed. "Draco's brought him his work. He's been excused from classes until you're better."

Severus slowly drifted back off to sleep after being given some potions for the pain and when he woke up in the morning he was looking into the most beautiful set of green eyes he had ever seen in his life.

Harry was sitting on the edge of his bed. "Sev, you're awake." Harry exclaimed.

Severus nodded. "Very perceptive of you."

Harry looked to be fighting off the tears. "You scared me to death. I thought I might have lost you."

Severus took a chance and reached up to brush a stray tear from his husband's cheek. "Harry, I'm sorry I scared you."

Harry never flinched from the touch and in fact took his hand and kept it close to his heart. "Never do that again please."

Severus smirked. "I'll try not to allow any of my students to blow up a potion again."

Harry shook his head and the tears were flowing now. "Don't joke. I really was worried I lost you."

Severus knew without even the bond, the truth of Harry's words. "I am sorry Harry."

Harry surprised them both when he bent down and kissed Severus on the lips. It was a fleeting kiss that barely even touched his lips but it was a kiss. It left them both blushing though.

"Just like you to pull a stunt like this to win my heart." Harry said with a small laugh but then more seriously. "I care about you Sev. I can't lose you."

Sev took his free hand and brushed the hair from Harry's eyes. "You're not going to lose me, I promise."


	15. the recovery

Severus was released from the hospital wing later that day with express orders to stay in bed for the next few days until he was fully healed. Harry stayed by his side and when they got back to the apartments he was surprised to find Harry leading him into the master bedroom.

"Harry. This is your room. I will be fine in the guest suite." Severus resisted.

Harry shook his head. "You'll be closer to the bathroom here and this bed we both know is more comfortable."

"Harry, I am not going to take over your bed. I told you I would not enter it again until you invited me." Severus said stubbornly.

Harry was as stubborn. "You will sleep in this bed if I have to have a house elf help me get you in and stick you down with a spell."

Severus allowed himself to be led into the bedroom and then turned to Harry. Harry didn't leave when he started to undress and even helped him with his trousers as he was having a hard time bending. Harry stood back and watched as he slipped under the covers, propped up against pillows Harry had arranged.

Severus found himself drifting off again as he was exhausted from the walk and saw Harry sit down in a chair. "You don't have to stay."

Harry shook his head. "I 'm not going any where until you're back in a classroom terrorizing first years."

Severus smirked. "Well perhaps a few sixth years as well?"

Harry nodded and Severus drifted off to sleep. He wasn't sure how long he had been out but when he woke later Harry was curled up in the same chair working on what looked to Severus to be a potions essay from the title of the book next to Harry.

Harry noticed him wake up and smiled slightly. "Are you hungry?"

Severus nodded. "A bit."

Harry called for one of the house elves and ordered them two trays of dinner. When the trays arrived there was a nice meat pie, potatoes and salad for Harry and clear broth and tea for Severus.

Severus smirked at the food. "What's this?"

Harry shrugged. "House elves are following Madam Pomfrey's orders. It seems she has put you on a liquid diet for now."

Severus watched as Harry put his homework away to eat. "How about sharing some of yours with me?"

Harry smirked this time. "Come on and be a good patient. If you're not, Madam Pomfrey might insist on you going back to the hospital wing."

Severus groaned, his husband talking to him as a child but he laughed a bit as well. "Fine. I'll eat it but if I'm not back on solids in a day or so, I'll go to the kitchens myself."

Harry sighed and shook his head. "She said you'd be fine by then. So eat up."

They sat in companionable silence for the rest of the evening and when he drifted back off to sleep for the night he noted that Harry was still sitting in the chair by his bed. He thought he should tell Harry to head off to bed but he was too tired and found himself asleep.

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Harry woke up in the middle of the night and practically fell from the chair he was sleeping in. He had woken from a bad dream. Not a nightmare like he had suffered so many before but still a dream that left his heart racing in his chest.

_He was sitting out on the quiditch pitch with Draco and Blaise again as Professor Dumbledore came walking across the lawn towards him._

"_Is there something wrong headmaster?" Harry asked._

"_You need to come with me right away Harry. There has been an accident in the potions lab." Dumbledore told him._

_He felt the pressure of Draco's hands on his arm as he steadied Harry. Harry had half run up to the hospital wing where he searched for his husband until he found a bed that was occupied. This time the entire body was covered in a sheet._

"_No." Harry had uttered._

_Madam Pomfrey came out from her office. "I'm sorry Harry but Severus was killed by the explosion."_

_Harry sunk to the ground next to the bed his entire body shaking as tears streamed down his cheeks. H e couldn't be dead, he couldn't be. Harry couldn't lose him now. His screams filled the hospital wing as he felt his heart would shatter._

Harry knew that the fears he had felt since Dumbledore had found him and told him Severus was hurt had come up in the dream. The only real sleep he had since the accident before now had been the night before but Madam Pomfrey had slipped him a dreamless sleep potion.

Harry moved towards the bed and he looked down at Severus to just make sure he was even breathing, that his heart was still beating. He was petrified that his bad dream had been real.

Harry without thinking about it found himself crawling into bed next to his husband, and drifted off to sleep lying with his right arm across his husband's chest as he slept on his side. He fell asleep reassured by the sound of his husband's breathing that his husband was still very much alive and had not been killed.

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It was much later in the morning then Severus ever woke up when his eyes started to drift open. His eyes went first to the chair where his husband had been the night before and he noticed it was empty. He smiled thinking his husband had gone to bed then he noticed something, a weight on his chest. He looked down to see his husband asleep next to him on the bed and Harry's arm across his chest.

He dare not move or touch his husband. Harry had felt safe enough to come into bed with him for the first time since the night Severus had raped him, but he was not going to push the boy. He didn't want to touch Harry and have him wake up and be spooked by it.

He watched for a few hours until Harry began to shift and wake. He smiled at the tossled black head. "Good morning."

The head shot up and the arm from his chest. "Good morning."

Severus watched as Harry sat there in bed with his arms crossed over his own chest. "I was a bit surprised to find you with me in bed this morning."

Harry nodded. "I had a dream last night. It was the hospital wing all over again but this time when they brought me in, you were dead."

Severus' heart wrenched at the pain in his husband's voice and he wanted to reach out and hold Harry but he couldn't. "I'm sorry you had such a bad dream."

Harry shook his head to clear away the thoughts and tears. "I was just worried about you. I don't want to lose you."

Severus gave a gentle smile in response. "I don't want to lose you either."

Harry moved to go and get them some breakfast brought in. Harry did not mention the fact that he had slept in the same bed or had been touching his husband so Severus would not mention anything either. He would let Harry broach the subject when the time was right if it was.

Harry came back with the breakfast and he found he was at least upgraded to porridge. "I guess this is a step up."

Harry smiled as he bit into a piece of a muffin he had been brought. "Remember no more griping or I'll send you back to Madam Pomfrey."

Severus tried to put on a scowl but it turned into a smile. "Okay mother."

Finally he was rewarded with a slight laugh and a smile. "I could find your mother and bring her here if that would work better."

Severus paled at the thought. "No. I promise to be a good boy from now on."

Harry stayed and had breakfast with him and he noted Harry did not attend classes either that day and upon asking found out Harry had got himself excused from classes for a few more days so that he could be with his husband. Harry did disappear later into the sitting room to work on some of his homework from the day with Draco and Luna who had brought it for him

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It was after dinner and Severus decided he needed to take a bath. The cleansing spells from the hospital wing were just not enough to make him feel clean. He winced slightly as he climbed out of bed and though he made it to the bathroom, by the time he was out of his clothes he was breathless. He slipped into the water but he could barely move not alone clean himself.

He heard footsteps and Harry's anxious voice followed. "What are you doing in here alone?"

Severus sighed. "I needed a bath and I knew you were busy with homework with Draco, and I didn't want to bother you."

"Bother me? I'd be a bit more bothered if I came in here and found my husband drowned because he passed out when he took a bath." Harry said exasperated.

Severus apologized. "I never realized how bad I was until I was already in the water."

Harry shook his head. "Turn around so I can strip."

Severus was shocked by the request and as he did comply, asked. "Why?"

He heard Harry slip into the water behind him. "If you insist on a bath you're going to need someone to scrub you. You're in no shape."

Severus was surprised at how willing Harry was to be in the bath with him and even offering to wash him. He handed Harry the sponge and he felt Harry start to wash his back and his shoulders. Harry was very careful to be gentle with him, not wanting to cause any further damage to his already injured skin. He noted that Harry didn't really ever touch his skin himself but the close proximity of their bodies was sending a slight warm tingling sensation through him which he liked a lot.

When Harry was done he put the sponge down. "Do you think you can climb out on your own?"

Severus nodded. "My head has cleared a lot."

Harry made sure Severus' back was turned as he slipped from the bath and after a drying spell, dressed. He did not watch either as his husband slowly climbed from the bath, until after he put a drying spell on himself and slowly managed to put on his bottoms.

Harry led him back to bed and he smiled in surprise as Harry sat down propped up against the pillows, to read with him. "Feel better after that?"

Severus nodded. "Much. Thank you for your help."

Harry nodded and went back to his reading. Harry fell asleep on the bed next to him that night though there was no reoccurrence of the arm on his chest. Severus fell asleep with a smile on his face, feeling a sense of calm having his bond back in his bed in such close proximity with him once again.


	16. the picnic

By the time Severus recovered enough from his injuries he was permitted to return to teaching he and Harry had made progress. Though completely platonic Harry had returned to sleeping in the same bed as his husband and on his first outing from the bedroom, Severus noticed the secondary bedroom had vanished. Harry had also continued to bathe with him though Severus would turn his back as Harry undressed and slipped into the water. The physical contact in the bath was limited to washing each other's backs and shoulders but as they continued to read at night their bond was at ease.

The first weekend after the accident Severus decided he wanted to do something special for Harry. Their courting had been put on hold a bit and he wanted to get it back on track and to thank Harry for helping him.

He went to Harry on Saturday morning. "I was hoping you might accompany me on a walk. It has been a while."

Harry smiled and put the book down he had been reading. "I would like that."

Severus handed Harry his cloak and the two made their way on to the grounds. He had arranged a small surprise for Harry when they got to the base of the tree where they had sat and spoke the last time.

Harry noticed the blanket on the grass and the basket. "What is this?"

Severus smiled. "Didn't think I forgot about the thought of a picnic out here one day."

Harry had thought with everything that he might have forgotten but was touched he had not. "Thank you, this means a lot."

Severus helped him to sit and opened the basket which had spells on it to protect it until they came. He had admittedly had a bit of help from Dobby preparing it and from Harry's friends in knowing what to pack. Warm chicken sandwiches with garlic mayo, his favourite crisps, bottles of butterbeer, fresh green grapes and sweet blueberry cheesecake for desert.

Harry smiled at the food. "You didn't have to go to all of this trouble." He knew that Severus must have asked for some help in knowing his favourites so well.

Severus shrugged. "I wanted to make sure it was special. I wanted to thank you for taking such care of me when I have been injured these past few days."

Harry laughed. "Have short memory do you? You weren't exactly a big fan of my nursing care to begin with."

Severus smirked. "A fan of any nursing care, no. Yours I could live with. You have a far more gentle touch then Madam Pomfrey."

Harry blushed a bit at that. "I'm just glad you're better. I was really scared for you when it happened."

Severus remembered his husband's outburts in the hospital and the fleeting kiss. "I promise again to try and never give you such a scare again."

Harry wanted to get away from the talk and they moved on to stories of Severus as a teen. Harry enjoyed hearing about his husband as a foolish teenager and not the strict and put together teacher he was now. Harry had seen some images in the pensieve but it was still hard to imagine him young.

"Do you have any pictures of you when you were little?" Harry asked.

Severus groaned. "Not any I have any intention of showing you." But when Harry pouted. "I'm sure I could have my mother send some."

That made Harry smile. "So you're mother is still alive?"

Severus nodded. "I thought you knew, you threatened to sick her on me when I wanted to get out of bed."

Harry remembered that. "I wasn't sure. I had heard a few stories of Eileen but I didn't know if your mom or dad were alive."

Severus finished a mouthful of sandwich before explaining. "Dad drunk himself to death when I was 20. I haven't seen my mother since I graduated."

Harry really didn't need to ask for he knew his husband had been abused by his father and his mum had not seemed to be any help. He didn't wish to press the matter though he hoped he might meet his mother in law some day.

They spent the better part of the afternoon on their picnic before they packed up to head back in. Severus reached down to help Harry up and this time Harry did not let go, instead he continued to hold his husband's hand as they made their way to the castle. Severus felt like a school boy with his first boyfriend, all goo-goo over holding hands.

They got back to their courters and as they were taking off their cloaks he was taken a bit by surprise when Harry stood on his toes and kissed him.

It was only slightly less fleeting then the one in the hospital wing as their lips fully touched but when Harry pulled away the boy was blushing. "Harry" Severus whispered.

The boy looked suddenly scared and turned and ran from the apartments. Severus was left standing there staring at the way he had gone. He was definitely a bit baffled at what to make of it.

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Harry had no idea what had possessed him to kiss Severus. Some how after the picnic and walking back hand in hand it seemed right. They had been growing closer after all. He bathed with his husband and they had platonically shared a bed for over a week now. He had wanted to kiss him but the moment he had finished and had looked at his husband and Severus had said his name, it was like some trance was broken and he had freaked.

He ran from the apartments completely lost of where to go but the answer came to him in the form of two friends. "Harry." Luna called out.

He had just entered the main entrance hall when he saw Neville and Luna together, though Draco soon appeared as well. Draco smiled. "What's up?"

Harry shook his head. "Can I talk with you guys?" Harry asked and they nodded. They followed him to the room of requirements.

When the four of them were seated in couches that had appeared Harry quickly explained what had happened. He was so nervous about telling them that he had said it all quick without taking another breath, scared he wouldn't be able to get it out otherwise.

All three of his friends were smiling when he finished. Draco asked. "And did you regret kissing him?"

Harry shook his head. "No. I mean I was a bit shocked by my kissing him but no I didn't, don't, regret kissing him."

Luna put a hand on his shoulder. "You know Harry its okay to be drawn to your husband. To start caring about him."

Harry nodded. "After the accident in the hospital wing I realized I didn't want to lose him, and that I must care about him."

Draco shook his head. "So what's the problem then?"

"He loves me and I'm scared. I'm scared where my heart is going. I'm scared that I might go to fast and then if I slow down, he might be hurt." Harry said.

Neville spoke for the first time. "Harry I've seen you with him. Anyone can see how much he loves you. He'll be understanding."

For Harry that had suddenly become the issue. "I don't want him to think that I am playing with him. Hot and cold."

Draco squeezed his shoulder. "He won't. He knows what you're going through. Just follow your heart Harry. Stop worrying about the past, stop worrying about the bond."

Luna agreed. "Forget what has gone between you before, or your so called bond connection. Just let your heart do the thinking for a while Harry."

Harry knew they made sense. His heart had been drawing him towards his husband for some time but his mind kept stopping him. His mind kept replaying the night his husband had forced himself on him. Harry knew in his heart in a way that it had not really been rape, his husband had been doing what was needed, but trying to get his heart and his mind to think on the same page was just not happening.

Harry stood up and looked down at his friends. "You're right."

All three of them looked at him with a bit of confusion. "We are?"

Harry nodded. "I'm over thinking this. I'm not saying I'm ready for more, or I ever will be, but maybe my heart should take over driving from my head for a bit."

The friends smiled and watched as Harry left the room. He walked down through the castle at a slower pace then normal. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to Severus when he arrived back at their apartments but he set his mind to letting his heart do the talking where ever that took him.

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Severus was sitting in his chair by the fireplace and looking at the flames in the hearth. He felt like he should have gone after Harry but he had sworn to himself he would let Harry be in total control of this and he would not force the boy. He had wanted to pull his husband into another kiss so bad. He was starting to wonder if Harry ever would return when the door swung open and Harry came in.

Harry walked across the room and sat down on the hearth next to him. "I'm sorry for leaving like that." Harry said simply.

Severus shook his head. "Don't apologize."

Harry reached out and placed a hand, well just the fingers really, on his hand. "Sev, I was just confused and I needed to talk to someone."

Severus wished that person could have been him but he would not say that. "I understand. And did you find someone?"

Harry nodded. "Draco and Luna, and well Neville as well. They helped me sort out some thoughts."

"And what did you sort out?"

"I realized that I care about you a lot. And not because of our bond. That the fright from the explosion made me realize that." Harry started.

Severus felt a small pang of hope. "Anything else?"

"I'm ready to have contact with you, hold hands, and perhaps kiss. I don't know when I'll be ready for more. If it goes further I want it to be because we are making love and not just sex." Harry said quietly.

Severus took a risk and lifted Harry's chin so the boy looked at him again. "As slow as you want, I promised you and I intend to keep that."

Harry held the hand that was on his face. "You can touch me you know. I promise I won't flinch again."

Severus was a bit surprised. "Are you sure? I don't want you to think that I am trying to do anything you're not ready for."

Harry nodded. "The handholding, the arm around me on the couch, even the bathing. I have been comfortable with. Perhaps with a bit more, I will be able to progress towards being ready to make love to you."

Severus threw caution to the wind and gently kissed his husband. He was scared Harry had not meant it though and he began to draw away but Harry put a hand behind his neck and pulled him back for the kiss. Their mouths remained close but it was a gentle passionate warm kiss that was definitely another step for them.

When he pulled away finally Severus said. "Let me continue to court you. In time perhaps like you said before, it will be more."

Harry agreed. It wasn't easy to turn back the hands of time on a relationship and go back to dating when you were already married but they both understood what they had not really known before they made the decision the first time, that this was the way they would both get to the same page.


	17. the start

The following weekend their usual walk was put on hold by the second quiditch game of the season. Severus rarely attended except when Slytherin was playing but went to cheer his husband's team on against Ravenclaw. He took to the safety of the teacher's box and not in the stands with the Slytherin students there, so he could cheer for his husband without concern for being hexed. The game was a short one as only about an hour in Harry had caught the snitch with a daring dive.

He waited as Harry changed and spoke to his team and met his husband outside the dressing rooms. "You played amazing today."

Harry smiled. "Thank you. I think we have the cup in our lap again this year."

Severus lowered his head to gently brush his husband's lips with a kiss. "How about we celebrate?"

Harry had a bit of blush in his cheeks. "I'd like that. What did you have in mind?"

"I thought I could take you for lunch in town." Severus suggested.

Harry had never gotten to go to town not on a Hogsmeade weekend. "That sounds great."

Harry easily slipped his hand into Severus' and they walked together through the grounds and out the gates. It was unusual for Harry the sight of the town for he was used to it on days when the school was able to go and the shops were all packed. It was quite quiet that afternoon, just the locals.

They walked into the Three Broomsticks were they were greeted by Madam Rosemerta. "I heard it was a quiditch day up at the school. You didn't go?"

Severus laughed. "Harry here is the star seeker for the winning team. I thought we'd come and celebrate."

The barmaid smiled. "You must have played well for the game already to be done. You know many of us here in town have heard of your skills, Harry."

She left and returned in a bit with plates of sandwiches and soup for them both as well as bottles of butterbeer.Harry found himself telling his husband about his first trip to Hogsmeade.

Severus tried his best teacher glare. "In town against the rules Mr Potter, I should give you detention."

Harry laughed. "You tried to. Remember Draco saw me though Remus came to my rescue."

Severus' smirk turned into a smile "The floating head. I do recall that. I think I might still have the right to give you detention you know."

Harry's turn to smirk. "Well only if I have to serve it with you."

"That can be arranged." Severus said with a warm laugh.

After lunch they spent the day in town and did a bit of shopping. Oddly enough they learned they both had infinity for liquorice wands, far safer choice then bertie botts beans. Severus was happy to learn his husband was not one of those kids that collected the cards in chocolate frogs, at least not any more. They went to quality quiditch supplies for a short stop but Harry actually spent more time with him in the book store. They bought some snacks for Harry to surprise his house with that evening for the quiditch party.

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Severus was on the couch reading later that evening. Harry had gone up to his tower for the quiditch party and knowing how long they went, he thought he was in for a long lonely evening. He was surprised then when just after 10 the portrait hole swung open and his husband popped back in.

"I didn't think the party would be over so soon." Severus said looking up from his book.

Harry shrugged. "I thought I should get home before curfew."

Severus smirked. "I would have thought you would crash with your old roommates tonight. The party surely would go until midnight."

Harry nodded. "It would but I had some fun and the team loved our surprise. But I wanted to come back and spend the rest of the evening with you."

Severus had to admit he was happy to hear that. He watched as Harry retreated into the bedroom and he came back a few moments later in his pyjamas and carrying a book which they had bought that day. They sat curled up next to each other for a time reading but they slowly put their books away.

Feeling a bit encouraged by the day Severus turned to his husband and gently took him by the back of the neck and brought him in for a kiss. It was not the gentle kisses they had shared before but a bit more consuming. He felt his husband's lips part in response and he gently ran his tongue along Harry's lips to test if Harry would allow it to enter. Harry's mouth parted a bit more in response and Severus tongue slid in and gently explored.

As they pulled back for air he looked into his husband's eyes as Harry whispered "Wow."

Severus smiled and brushed a strand of hair from his cheek. "You know if you want, you can try."

Harry was a bit timid and for a moment Severus wasn't sure he would but Harry gently brought Severus mouth down to his and with a gentle tug of his teeth on Severus's bottom lip, got his husband to part his lips. Harry's tongue entered. Harry let out a soft moan as he let his tongue slowly explore his husband's mouth.

As they came back for air Severus became a bit more brave and whispered. "I'm going to taste your earlobes, your neck."

He waited a moment to give Harry a chance to stop him but Harry just nodded. "Yes."

He started on the ear he had whispered into and gently took the earlobe into his mouth and tugged at it gently. A small moan from his husband's lips was heard as he moved from the earlobes and gently preceded to his husband's neck. Gently as not to leave any marks he trailed his lips caressingly down his husband's neck, stopping when he found a sensitive spot or two and gently sucking a bit more to elicit a deeper moan. He made his way back up his husband's neck until he was gently tugging on the other earlobe.

As he drew back his husband was panting a bit. He saw his husband's eyes wander to his neck and earlobes. He smiled and whispering gently into his husband's ear directly this time. "Go for it."

Harry did not hesitate as he had with the kiss and Sev took a deep in take of breath as he felt Harry nibble gently on one of his earlobes. His mouth gently traced a path down Severus's neck and Severus let out a deep moan when Harry's lips found the sensitive spot at the front of his neck. Seeing the reaction he elicited from that spot Harry's mouth remained a few extra moments and Severus felt the tongue gently dart out across it once.

When Harry's lips left his other earlobe Harry sighed and rested his head against Severus shoulder. He knew they had gone as far as Harry would go tonight and he could sense his husband's exhaustion of the day setting in.

Kissing Harry gently he shifted his husband so he was resting more comfortably against his chest and legs curled u along the couch. Harry soon drifted off to sleep as Severus held him. He put a blanket over Harry and sat watching the flames, amazed at how his body responded so much to just a bit of innocent kissing.

Not wanting to disturb his husband's rest he remained that way and they slept on the couch until after breakfast the next morning.

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When Harry woke in the morning he was surprised to find himself on the couch and even more surprised to find himself in his husband's arms, his head against Severus's chest near his heart. What surprised him was how comfortable and at peace he was there, and felt no need or desire to move from the warmth.

Severus started to awake a bit later and a smile played on his lips as he saw Harry awake and still in his arms. "Morning Harry."

The tousled black head turned to look into his eyes as he said "Morning Sev." Harry gently kissed him before reluctantly moving from his arms.

As they ate breakfast that morning Severus watched his husband closely, wondering if Harry was still okay with last night. "How are you this morning?"

Harry gave him a timid smile. "I feel pretty good. I slept like a baby last night."

Severus nodded. "I hope I didn't move to fast for you last night."

Harry reached out and took his hand. "No. I would have told you to stop if you had. I liked it."

Severus gave him a slight but gentle smirk. "I didn't notice." He said playfully. But more seriously. "I really enjoyed it too."

Slowly they went their separate ways for the day as Harry had homework to do and Severus had potions to work on in his lab but both their minds continued to wander back to the night before. Harry had to be the only almost seventeen year old who had before his marriage never even kissed open mouthed, even though he had dated two girls. He found it not only quite pleasant but leaving him wanting more.


	18. the touching

As the days ran into May and the final quiditch game drew near Harry was spending more and more time in practices. They read together every night as before and had continued to do what to Severus' chagrin Harry referred to as making out. Harry was growing more and more comfortable, initiating it more and more himself.

That night as Severus watched Harry go into the bathroom after coming back from practice he followed Harry. Harry turned. "Joining me for a bath?"

Severus smiled and nodded. He walked to Harry. "I'm going to unbutton your shirt."

For Harry who had always stripped while his husband's back was turned and got in the water it was strange but he felt at ease enough. "Okay."

Severus moved closer to him and as he began unbuttoning the front of Harry's shirt he ran the free hand up and down the back of Harry's neck. He gently reached down and kissed Harry, slipping his tongue into the waiting mouth as he slipped the shirt from Harry's body.

He took Harry's hands and placed them on the buttons of his own shirt as an invitation and waited to see what Harry would do. Harry slowly began to unbutton his shirt while lost in the kiss. Severus felt a small shiver run up his back as he felt Harry's hands run along the front of his chest before sliding the shirt off of him.

Harry pulled away slightly as he felt Severus's hands on his belt but Severus whispered. "I'm just going to unbuckle your pants and remove them for the bath."

Harry nodded and Severus slowly undid the belt and button and let Harry's trousers fall to the floor. He slowly led Harry's hands to the front of his own and after a moment of slightly nervous fumbling Harry managed to unbuckle his pants and Severus too was stepping from them.

One last piece of clothing. This time he spoke before even initiating any action. "I'm going to remove your boxers. I won't touch you, just taking the fabric off for you to get into the water."

Harry had the look of a spooked horse in the eyes as he trembled but Severus heard a quiet "Yes."

Severus moved to the hips and slowly eased Harry's boxers from his body, leaving Harry naked before him. "Do you want to get in the bath now or would you like to help me with mine?"

Harry never answered but his hands trembling went to Severus' boxers and slowly moved them down. Severus could see Harry's eyes linger on his penis. He lifted Harry's face to meet his eyes as he knew Harry was growing uncomfortable and scared.

"Just a bath." Severus assured him.

Harry repeated him. "Just a bath." And a bit of the spooked animal look left his eyes.

Harry slowly slid into the water and Severus came after. Severus took the sponge but as he turned to Harry he smiled. "I'm going to clean more then just your back tonight."

He slowly ran the sponge down Harry's neck, running along the spots he had taken to kissing in the evenings. He lifted one of Harry's arms and slowly began to wash down the arms, drawing some goosebumps. He used a cloth and gently went between each of the fingers, and then proceeded to do the same to the other arm. His hand and the cloth gently made its way down Harry's chest, barely touching, just enough for Harry to feel the sensation against his skin. When he got to the belly button though he felt Harry jerking away.

"No." Harry said.

Severus returned his hands back to Harry's neck and shoulders. "No. I wasn't going to go any further." Knowing Harry was flashing back to that night.

Severus handed him the sponge. Harry looked at it and then at Severus. "Am I, I mean should I?"

Severus nodded. "If you feel comfortable you can wash me like I did you or I will turn and you can do my back as normal, and I'll do yours later."

Severus almost turned as Harry sat there looking at the sponge but Harry moved the sponge and gently began to mimic Severus' own moves and washed his neck and his arms, his fingers resting an extra moment or two on Severus' muscles in his arms and along the long slender fingers.

Harry moved down the chest but before he got to Severus' belly button even he was starting to look panicked again. Severus took the sign.

Taking the sponge. "Turn around so I can get your back for you." Severus said and when Harry complied he began their usual routine.

When they were both clean Harry climbed from the bath without asking his husband to turn around and slipped into a dressing gown and made his way back into the bedroom to put on his pyjamas, leaving Severus to get out, dry and follow. By the time he was dried and changed he found Harry already asleep in bed. He smiled as he climbed into bed next to his husband, kissing him gently on the forehead and drifting off to sleep himself.

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When Severus woke up the next morning it was still just after dawn so though it was a school day it was still quite early. He looked down and found his husband sleeping with his head and arm across Severus' chest. He watched as his husband slept but about an hour later Harry began to wake.

Severus was carding his fingers through his husband's hair as Harry's eyes opened and his head tilted up to look at his husband. "Morning Sev."

Severus reached down to kiss his husband on the lips and was greeted by open warm lips. Severus gently moved them so Harry was lying against the pillows and as his tongue explored Harry's mouth; his hand began unbuttoning the front of Harry's pyjama top. He felt Harry's body shiver a bit as his hands roamed.

Harry began to respond and he felt hands slide under his own top, shyly and just the tips but on their own.

Severus moved his mouth down Harry's neck again as his own body was starting to respond to the exploring fingertips.

Eventually though Harry pulled away from his body as they were both panting from lack of air and from the shivers running through both of them. Harry slipped from bed and grabbing a dressing robe, went to the bathroom to get cleaned up for the day and to dress.

Severus got up eventually and did the same. He found his husband in the sitting room when he came out. "Ready for breakfast?" He asked gently.

Harry got up to his feet. "Yes, I'm quite hungry this morning."

Severus smiled as Harry slid into place next to him and placed his hand in his. They walked on the grounds often as such on weekends but Harry had been reluctant to show up like this in the Great Hall when all the school would see. Harry did not move his hand from Severus' that morning even when they entered the hall, not until they got to the spot his friends had left open for him at the house table.

Harry stopped him from going and gently pulled his chin down for one last kiss, oblivious to all the stares. "Have a good day."

He watched as his husband sat down and he went to his seat the teacher's table. He was not sure why he blushed so much as the entire school knew they were married, most had seen them paired in the soul mate bowl, but still the color rose to his cheeks.

Albus smiled at him as he sat down. "It seems things are going better for you two finally."

Severus looked to where his husband was sitting and nodded. "Yes, finally."


	19. the taste

Harry had come home from his last quiditch practice before the final game of the season. He was exhausted but had some studying left to do as while his attention was on the game in a few days, it was almost June and time for finals as well.

He slid out of his clothes leaving his boxers on and went with his charms text to the sitting room where his husband was reading. Severus looked up "Good practice?"

Harry nodded as he slipped under the blanket and into his husband's lap. "The last I think. The team is readier then they'll ever be and threatening to mutiny."

Severus gently shifted Harry into a more comfortable spot and gently kissed his husband's neck. "I don't know why they complain, I for one would like it."

Harry smirked. "I don't give you the same kind of work out as I do them. Not everyone is married to me remember."

Severus smirked at that. "I hope not. I for one have no intention of sharing my husband with six other people."

Harry gently kissed him. "Hey remember at least half of them aren't really my type." Reminding his husband of the three female chasers on the team.

Severus just pulled him in for a slightly longer and more exploratory kiss before releasing him so Harry could actually get some of the studying he had come out here with done. After about an hour and a half they both put down their books to sit and enjoy the fire.

Harry was surprised when his husband's arm went from around his waist and the hand gently started running, almost tickling, down his chest.

Harry suppressed a small laugh from the tickling sensation. "Hmmm...what are you doing?"

Severus didn't answer at first as he was nibbling on Harry's earlobe getting Harry moaning more. "Checking for ticklish spots, do you mind?"

Harry's answer was cut off by a moan as his husband had started nibbling on his ear again. "No."

Severus pulled away. "Good. I'm going to play with your nipples and make them nice and hard."

Harry felt both of his husband's hands gently against his chest. He leaned back against his husband as his husband's long slender fingers gently began to play with his nipples, teasing them, making them grow hard.

Severus turned Harry to face him and placed Harry's hands on his chest. "Now you."

Harry smiled and his fingers ran down his husband's neck and chest, back up again. He gently caressed his husband's nipples, tweaking them slightly. He heard his husband's intake of breath and felt them hardening under his fingertips. He knew he was doing something right.

Harry drew apart though with a gasp as he felt his husband's hand sliding in under his boxers. "No."

Severus put a finger to Harry's lips to silence him. "Yes. I just want to touch you. Just let you get used to it. I promise."

Harry slowly nodded his head and relaxed a fraction.

Severus slid his hand under the silk boxers and slowly moved up and down Harry's penis. He noticed Harry was slightly hard from their kissing. He did not want to make the boy cum. Not this time. He just needed Harry to feel safe having a man touch him down there. He felt Harry's muscles relaxing as Harry grew more comfortable about his touch. It was not like the fat mauling hands of his Uncle. His husband's fingers just gently skimmed his flesh, cupping his balls as well.

Severus withdrew his hand and gently positioning Harry, scooped his husband up and carried him to their bed. Lying down next to Harry he knew he had to be careful with this. His Uncle had forced Harry to take down his Uncle's boxers and touch him. Severus left both of theirs in place.

"Would you like to touch me Harry?" He asked gently.

Harry looked into his eyes and made no move to touch him. "I'm not sure."

Severus bent and kissed him lightly. "Your choice Harry. Even if it's just through the fabric."

He didn't want to pressure his husband so he gently pulled Harry into a light kiss but he felt Harry's hand along his penis. His hand did not go under the fabric but pressed enough that Severus could feel the fingers as they gently traced at first and then caressed Severus' penis.For a brief moment Harry even cupped his balls.

As soon as it started it seemed to end but Severus found relief in the relaxed smile on Harry's face. "See. It doesn't have to be anything scary."

Harry nodded. "You were right."

Severus drew him into a kiss, knowing they had done enough for the night. Harry was getting so close but he was still easy to spook and Severus had no intention of setting his husband back another step. Harry slowly started to drift off in his arms.

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When Harry woke up in the morning he found himself alone in bed, odd for a Saturday morning especially as it was early but Severus soon appeared back, in the door from the bathroom. Severus came and sitting down next to Harry he kissed him on the lips.

"Were you okay with last night Harry?"

Harry slowly nodded. "Yes."

"I am going to try something more. I'm going to remove your boxers."

Harry's hands went to the cloth. "Why?"

"I want to feel you, free from any cloth or restraint. I want to show you what the loving touch of your husband can feel like." Severus whispered quietly.

Harry did not respond in words but slowly removed his hands and allowed Severus to gently ease his boxers off. Harry had closed his eyes though so Severus gently leaned in and kissed him, reassuring Harry that he loved him and he would be gentle. Harry's body relaxed again.

As he kissed Harry he slowly moved his hand down so it grasped the soft flesh of his penis, not the gentle caress of the night before. He ran his hand up and down the shaft adding a bit ore pressure as he went. Harry began to slightly whimper. As he increased the movement he started his kissed trailing down Harry's neck and chest before drawing away.

"I'm going to take you in my mouth Harry." He whispered.

Harry was already lost in the motion as he was close to release. He managed to whimper out "Yes."

Severus slowly wrapped his mouth around the shaft, moving up and down it gently at first as he had with his hands but increasing. He felt his husband's fingers entwined in his hair. Suddenly Harry's back arched in response And Severus' mouth filled with his seed. Severus gently cleaned him off.

He moved to Harry's head and after a kiss whispered. "It's your turn to try if you're ready."

Harry hesitated and Severus gently cupped his head. "You don't have to do anything you're not ready to do."

Harry slid from his hands and gently as Severus lay back, moved to his husband's boxers and eased Severus' clear of his body. He still had the spooked horse look in his eyes as he stared at the penis and for a moment he wasn't sure Harry would go through with it but he did. Hand first, he gently rubbed and then grasped the penis, his first time without Severus' boxers on. He could feel it growing hard and slowly lowered his mouth over it. Severus felt like he was a lollypop and Harry licked and sucked but with time came practice he thought. No matter his technique Harry soon lead Severus to his own release.

When he was done he moved to his husband's side again and rested his head against Severus' heart. As he watched his husband drift off to sleep he had a number of ideas running through him.

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On the day before Harry's final game Severus went to talk to Draco and Luna about an idea he had. He wanted to make up for all of his mistakes and there was one which was bothering him.

Draco and Luna both knew how close Harry and Severus had become but had no idea why they were asked to come."What's up Uncle Sev?"

Severus smiled. "I have had a number of regrets since I married Harry and one of the major ones was the marriage itself."

Draco's jaw dropped. "You can't mean that. You guys have gotten so close. I know you love him."

Luna nodded. "You're the one who was in love with him before this wedding. I know Harry is falling for you too."

Severus laughed. "Not about marrying him but how it was. Harry deserved a proper wedding. A proper bond ceremony, not a forced one."

Draco agreed. "But what can you do about it. You two are married and we can't turn back time."

Severus smiled. "I was thinking of a recommitment ceremony. A proper wedding this summer. With family and friends this time. The way Harry deserves."

Luna smiled in approval. "It would mean a lot to Harry. I know he would agree to it, to have a chance to commit to you of his own free will."

Draco nodded. "Dad would probably let you have it at the manor and you know how much mum loves to plan, though Mrs Weasley probably would help too."

Severus laughed. "So you think this is a good idea, I take it?"

They both did but Draco said. "Does he feel the same way yet though?"

Severus sighed. "He hasn't said it yet but I believe Harry loves me, maybe not as in love with me as I him but I think we're getting there."

Draco and Luna shared smiles over the news and they helped Severus plan on the ceremony and of a way of telling Harry about it. They decided to wait to even let him in on it until the summer, as he had enough to focus on with his studies and quiditch. Perhaps, Severus thought, by the time the ceremony comes, Harry might be ready to make love to him, and have a proper wedding night. He hoped, but he wouldn't force it.


	20. the shower

Severus had been in the stands cheering as Harry and his team took to the air in the final game of the season to play for the cup. Really all they had to do was win by any amount and the cup was theirs. He watched with pride as his husband played. He was easily the best seeker Severus had seen in his years here. Better even then Charlie Weasley in his mind. Gryffindor had a pretty easy run against the badgers and by the time Harry caught the snitch 30 minutes in, they were up 60 points.

Dumbledore came over the announcer as the lions landed in a huddled group. "Gryffindor wins the quiditch cup. With a break in tradition the cup though will be presented to the winning captain at the closing feast this year."

Severus was surprised for that was a few weeks away after finals but it gave him an idea. A perfect timing for Severus. He waited in the sands thinking about his plans to propose to Harry again.

When he was sure the team would be nearing the end of their cool down talk Severus headed to the change rooms. The door opened and the team piled out as he entered the corridor.

He looked to Ron with a smile. "Where is my husband?"

Ron nodded back towards the door. "He waited until after our cool down talk to have his shower. He said he'd meet us in the tower for the party later."

Severus watched as they left and headed into the changing rooms where he cast shield spells and silencing spells. He was not wanting to be disturbed for what he had in mind.

Slipping out of his clothes he headed into the steam filled shower area. He saw his husband under the pouring water. "Harry."

Harry turned to look at him. "Sev, you do realize that we're in the team showers. My team could come in at any time."

Severus laughed as he advanced across to Harry. "They've left and I have put up shield charms."

Harry smiled "Mr Snape what did you have in mind?"

Severus pulled him into a kiss. "I thought I could help you get clean and relax after a well played game."

Harry felt his husband who had taken the cloth from him run it along the muscles on his arms, and slowly along his neck and down his chest. Severus was using his very fingertips creating a tingling sensation across Harry's skin. Harry felt his husband's hungry lips come down to his own and he parted them. As Severus' tongue slid into his mouth, Harry placed his hands around his husband's neck.

Just as the hand made it to his penis it moved away and Harry shuddered in disappointed need. Severus whispered. "Turn around."

Harry obediently did and felt his hands placed slightly above his head so he was leaning towards the wall. One hand returned to Harry's penis and slowly started moving up and down along it with the cloth. The other though he felt gently cup his ass.

He tried to pull away but his husband kept him in place. "Harry, I'm going to put a finger inside of you. Just to let you get used to feeling something inside you."

Harry was shuddering and Severus was scared he was shutting down but he left a small "Okay."

Severus moved his front hand up from his penis and gently caressed the back of Harry's neck to soothe him as he slowly inserted one finger into his husband. He heard Harry gasp and try to pull away but he kept Harry's head in place and the boy remained.

As he gently moved the finger in and out he whispered to Harry. "I'm going to insert another one."

Harry was to far gone now to respond but a slight whimper was a response. He slowly moved both in deeper until he hit Harry's soft spot. The whimpers grew louder and were mixed with moans as he felt Harry's back arching. Severus moved his hand from Harry's neck and went around to his front. He felt Harry's penis which was erect and nearly ready to cum.

"I'm going to insert another finger." He whispered and started slowly caressing Harry's penis to distract Harry from the discomfort of the third finger.

Harry's entire body was racked with deep moans and he did not last much longer as now three fingers were caressing his soft spot, not to mention what his husband's other hand was doing to his penis. Severus removed his fingers, wishing he could plunge his own hard erection into the newly prepped hole, but he kept all his restraints in place and held Harry about the waist as Harry experienced an intense orgasm.

He turned Harry to face him and he gently held his husband as Harry's breathing evened out from the end of the orgasm. Harry had a slightly glazed over look in his eyes as he looked at Severus.

Severus nibbled on his ear. "Would you like to repay the favour?"

Harry seemed lost for words but he nodded and Severus gently turned and took the position Harry was in before. For what seemed like minutes nothing happened but he had a sharp intake of breath as he felt Harry slide one of his fingers into his anus. He had been the top for so many years; he forgot what it felt like. Harry was uncertain and very careful at first but as Severus encouraged him to increase the number, Harry picked up a bit of speed and began to hit his soft spot.

He reached around and drew Harry's free hand to his front and placed it on his penis. Harry needed no instruction and gently began caressing it as well.

Severus soon experienced his own incredible orgasm and turned back once again to Harry and drew him into a long drawn out, passionate kiss. This was one way to get cooled down after an intense game, Severus thought with a smile as he gently led Harry out of the showers, pressing him against a locker and gently running his teeth and lips along Harry's neck and ears before coming back to his lips for one last hungry kiss.

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Harry had gone to the party in his tower to celebrate winning the quiditch cup for the third time since Harry had joined the team. The party was massive with friends form other houses, food from the kitchens and butterbeeer and candy smuggled in from Hogsmeade. He was the hero of the day from the quiditch pitch but some how his mind never seemed to be able to stay on the party.

He eventually knew he had to get out of there and faining a headache he went down stairs. Severus looked up. "I thought you'd be gone all night after that victory."

Harry shook his head. "I couldn't stop thinking about what happened in the locker room today. My mind kept going back to it."

Severus pulled him closer. "Was it because you liked it?"

Harry nodded. "How could I not? IT was amazing Severus."

Severus kissed him. "You have any idea how madly I am in love with you Harry."

Harry surprised Severus but sent his heart beating like a jack hammer with his next words. "I love you too Sev."

Severus wasn't sure he had heard the words correctly so he asked, wanted to no for sure. "Did you say you love me?"

Harry nodded. "I have fallen in love with you. I am in love with you."

Severus' heart soared with those words. He had hoped that when he asked Harry for the renewal of their vows that he would care about Severus but to hear Harry say that he was in love with him, that was more then Severus could take. He wanted to make love to Harry right there but he didn't. He had sworn he would do it right this time and he would. He would wait until the time was right and he hoped that would be after the ceremony, if Harry agreed to have it.

Harry pulled away from him. "Would you care to join me for a bath? I still feel a bit dirty from the game this morning."

Severus went to his feet with his husband and followed him to the bathroom. "You know the school will run out of hot water if we keep this up."

Harry just pulled him down for a kiss. "Then the students will just have to have some cold showers, won't they."


	21. the proposal

The Great Hall was decorated in red and gold to the surprise of no one after the incredible victory of the lions in the quiditch season. Harry was excited. His team was winning the cup for the third time since he made the team, second time when he actually played. Harry had been so nervous, as the entire school would see the presentation as it was at the feast, that he didn't notice his husband's nerves.

Severus had retreated into his potions lab as Harry was preparing for the feast. Draco and Luna had come to find him. "You're doing it tonight?" Draco asked.

Severus nodded. "I don't know why I'm so nervous. We're already married after all. I feel like a teenager again though."

Luna smiled. "Probably because you're about to propose to your husband for the first time in front of the entire school."

Severus slumped down into a stool and suddenly had gone pale as a sheet. "I am, aren't I?"

Draco and Luna shot each other amused looks. Draco nodded. "No backing out now. You know mum will kill you if you cancel the huge party she is planning."

Severus groaned. "Maybe I should have waited until after I asked Harry before I asked your mum to start planning this wedding."

Draco shook his head. "Then you two would have to wait weeks for the ceremony. This way you only have two days to wait."

"But what if he says no? I mean its one thing to be married to me but to have me embarrass him in front of everyone and propose to him?" Severus asked.

Luna shook her head. "He loves you. He's already told you that. And Harry is a romantic soul. This will mean a lot to him that you'd do this for him."

Severus took the small gift from his pocket. Not a ring. He would give Harry a second band but at the ceremony if he agreed. He had wanted though to have something to give Harry when he proposed.

He showed it to Draco. "I know it's a bit odd but since I couldn't do the engagement ring, I thought, well do you think he might like this."

Draco and Luna both nodded in approval. "He'll love it." Luna assured him. "You can tell it's special and he'll see that."

The two of them finally managed to get him to go back into his rooms and change. He wanted to look his best for that evening if all eyes were going to be on him and his husband as he knew they would be. Harry had already gone to meet with his quiditch team.

When he came back out he found Luna and Draco still there. "What are you two still here for?"

Draco laughed. "Making sure you don't get cold feet and go AWOL on us or anything."

Luna took one of his arms and Draco the other and walked him out the portrait hole. He found it quite funny. He knew that he wouldn't get cold feet. Every step closer to the great hall he knew he was doing the right thing. His heart was pounding in anticipation of popping the question properly for once.

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The attention of every one in the great hall was called. Normally the closing feast was not so formal but Dumbledore had decided after the year they had they would make some changes.

Albus stood up and spoke. "As we know already the house cup has been won for the sixth year in a row by Gryffindor. Now I would like to call in those mainly responsible for their victory, the Gryffindor lion's quiditch team lead by their captain Harry Snape."

The doors opened and in full quiditch robes Harry led his team to the front of the hall. They were all smiling broadly though Harry looked a bit nervous from the attention he was receiving.

Severus smiled at the blush on Harry's cheeks as Harry came towards the head table. Albus came to meet them. "Congratulations Captain Snape."

Harry beamed as he was handed the quiditch cup. "Thank you Professor Dumbledore, though most of the congratulations and praise goes to my team, I just made a lucky catch."

It amazed everyone including Severus how humble Harry was. He wasn't just trying to sound it. He never really had any idea just how amazing a player he was.

Each player was called forward and a small trophy they could have for their own keep was handed to them. The actual cup of course was kept in the trophy case and would have a new plaque for this year added to it.

When Harry was the only one left who had not been presented a trophy Dumbledore smiled. "I will not be presenting you with a trophy, Mr Snape."

Harry was taken off guard by that. The captain not getting a trophy. The entire hall was shocked. Dumbledore clarified. "Some one else wishes to present to you."

Severus stood up and made the walk around the table. He did have the trophy to give Harry but he also had his own motive. Harry was surprised but his face lit up when he was it was his husband who would be doing the honours for him.

Severus smiled at Harry. "You are an amazingly humble and gifted player Harry and it is not only due to your lucky catch as you call it but your amazing leadership and coaching skills as captain that your team has earned this place. I present you with not only your trophy but something else to show how special you are."

Harry took the small trophy from Severus but he found a small purple box inside of it and Harry looked up at him with a question in his eye.

Severus took the trophy from him and whispered. "Open it."

Harry opened the box and found a beautiful onyx amulet dragon forming a circle as it ate its own tale, with a great emerald in the center. The pendent had been in his mother's family for many generations. It had protection spells on it and was given to the person you loved to keep them safe.

"This has been in the Prince family for three hundred years. It was presented by grooms on their wedding eve to their bride as a sign of their love and protection."

Harry looked at it his eyes wide. "It's beautiful."

Severus got down on one knee. "Harry I know we're already married but we were forced last time. I love you and I know you have come to love me. You complete my heart and my soul, you are my other half. I am happier with you then I have ever been in my life. You are my husband, my soul mate, my friend, my family. I want to marry you again, this time properly. I want to stand with you in front of friends and family and pledge our love to each other. Will you marry me again?"

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Harry stood there looking from the pendent in his hand down to his husband on one knee. His husband on one knee in front of the entire school. It was not the usual proposal. It was a pendent and not a ring, and they were already married. He already had a wedding band he told himself, it was looking back at him. The words his husband had just said rung through his mind.

"You mean it? You want to marry me all over again." Harry finally got out.

His husband nodded. "I want to marry you. Say the word and in two days we will be married in a proper wedding with all your friends and family, at Malfoy manor."

Harry gasped as he realized that Severus had not just planned the proposal but the ceremony. His heart pounded in his chest. He had always dreamed of marrying for love and having this romantic wedding and honeymoon. When he had been forced to wed Severus he had thought he lost the chance forever. Now here it was.

"Yes. Yes, of course I'll marry you again." Harry said, tears pouring down his cheeks, not caring that the entire school was watching them.

Severus got to his feet and pulled Harry into a long passionate kiss. Harry was a bit shocked at his husband's show of public affection but he guessed after proposing in front of the school, Severus must have decided kissing his husband would be no less.

As they withdrew Severus took the pendent. "Can I put this on you?"

Harry nodded. "I would like that."

As Severus put it around his neck he whispered to Harry. "There is another ring but I want to give it to you when we marry."

Harry turned when the pendent was hanging in place and kissed him. "Thank you. This means the world to me. You have no idea."

Severus knew for it meant the world to him too. Harry found himself not eating at his house table but lead by his husband up to the head table. An extra seat had been placed there for Harry so that he was sitting between his husband and Flitwick. Harry got a lot of congratulations from the teachers and attention from those looking at the head table but all he saw and cared about was his husband. The words that Severus had said echoed through his head.

After dinner he had gone to find Draco. "I need yours and your father's help tomorrow."

Draco was a bit surprised. "You know we'll both help. What is it?"

"I need to find the perfect wedding gift for my husband. You two know him better then anyone." Harry said, fingering the beautiful pendent.

Draco laughed and promise that he would consult with his father and they would help Harry pick the perfect gift to give Severus. Draco knew that the ceremony itself and Harry's declaration of his love was the only gift Severus wanted or needed but he'd help Harry find something perfect.


	22. the wedding

Harry could hardly believe it. He was standing in a bedroom in Malfoy manor preparing for his wedding. He had been married for five months now he reminded himself but he felt like the nervous groom still. He had his gift for his husband in his pocket. Luna and Draco were helping him prepare. The Weasleys, Remus, Hermione, his friends from school, everyone would be there this time. His husband had seen to that.

Draco laughed at Harry. "Stop fidgeting. Someone might think this was your first time."

Harry smiled. "In a way it is. I'm not sure why I've got cold feet though. It's not like either of us can really back out now."

Luna came and hugged him. "Not that either of you would want to this time. You're both in love."

Harry felt his heart swell at the thought. "Yes, we are. To think you had to nearly drag me to the ceremony last time."

Draco noticed the time and said. "We might have to drag you this time or you'll be late. Come on."

Harry turned to Draco. "Go down, you need to be with my husband anyways. I want to talk with Luna for a moment first."

Draco left. He and his father would both stand for Severus though Draco as the original witness would again play the role as best man. Luna and Remus were doing the honours for Harry.

"I just wanted to say thank you Luna." Harry said when they were alone.

Luna grinned slightly at that. "Both me and Draco helped you through this. We're all connected through the bond."

Harry shook his head. "You got me to go to the wedding in the first place. You were by my side before the ceremony. I owe you everything Luna."

Luna hugged him. "You were my brother before the ceremony and you are my brother more then ever now. There is no place I'd rather be then by you."

Harry returned the hug but smiled when Remus came in the door. Luna left them to be alone for a moment and Remus came over and handed him a small package.

"I 'm sorry more then you'll ever know that I wasn't here the first time. I'm proud that you asked me to be a part this time." Remus said.

It had taken months for Harry to forgive Remus for leaving him for months but he had. "You're my dad in almost every way. I would have you no where else."

Remus had Harry open the wrapping paper and he found a beautiful gold pocket watch which had not one but two crests on it. The Potter and the Snape crests were both on it.

He looked up at Remus. "How?"

"This belonged to your dad, passed through his family for generations. Normally you would get it on your birthday in a few weeks but since you're a married man I thought now was better." Remus said. "I had your husband's crest added to it for you."

Harry placed the watch along his robe and hugged Remus. "Thank you, and thank you for walking me down the aisle."

Remus smiled. "You know I never thought I'd have a cub to walk down the aisle. I am glad you have given me the chance."

Harry allowed the older man to lead him from the room and through the halls down towards the gardens. He had not seen any of the plans but he knew that Narcissa had outdone herself in planning the event.

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Severus stood by Draco and Lucius with Albus at the front while the music of the small band Narcissa hired started. All of the hundred or more guests stood up and turned to watch. Luna made an appearance first, quite pretty all in yellow, walking down the aisle, met half way by Draco who escorted her the rest.

Severus' eyes turned to his husband who was being escorted by Remus. He had kind of laughed at the thought of his husband escorted like a bride down the aisle but he knew it meant a lot to Harry that Remus was there to escort him and give him away.

Remus handed Harry who looked handsome in his dark green robes, over to Severus and they held tightly to each other's hands and turned to Albus.

Albus smiled. "On Valentine's day these two saw each other in the soul mate bowl, No one, even them knew where this would lead. Married that same night they have traveled a rocky road that has brought them together not only as bond and soul mates, but in love as well. They have asked us to come together today so that they can renew their commitment, in full knowledge of the love and strength of their bond."

Severus turned to Harry. "I have made so many mistakes in my life. I have no idea how I ever deserved someone as special as you. I knew before we wed I cared for you and I know in our marriage I made mistakes too. I don't know what the future holds, all I know is that I love you with every beat of my heart. Your pain is my pain, and not simply because of the bond. Remove the bond and I'd still bleed when you bled, cried when you cried. You are my other half. You have made me whole and I will spend my entire life proving that I deserve you."

"When I was told we were to marry, anger and shock were under statements to what I felt. I didn't understand the bond between us. It took me having a chance to see the real you, open my eyes and my heart, to see that I was married to my other half. You were patient with me when I was stubborn, gentle with me when I was scared and you loved me when I pushed you away. I know now with every fibre in my body that I not only love you but I need you. I am nothing without you. I was so happy when you asked me to do this ceremony with you. I wanted a chance to tell you and the world that I am yours in my very being, for the rest of our lives.

Dumbledore smiled. "I will ask the grooms to repeat their traditional vows now with their witnesses by their side, to show their new commitment."

Severus slid the second band into place. "I Severus Tobias Snape take you Harry as my bonded husband and soul mate, in mind, body, soul and heart until death and beyond."

Draco stepped forward. "I Draco Lucius Malfoy stand as witness to my godfather Severus Snape's commitment to this marriage until death and beyond."

Harry had no second ring but kissed his husband's hand. "I Harry Potter-Snape take Severus Snape as my bonded husband and soul mate, in mind, body soul and heart until death and beyond."

"I Luna Cassiopeia Lovegood stand witness to my honorary brother Harry Snape's commitment to this marriage until death and beyond."

Albus turned to the guests. "This time in front of their family and friends these two men have pledged their hearts and souls for eternity. Let us all stand and celebrate in the renewal of the marriage of these two men as I pronounce them husbands."

Harry almost did not hear the cheering as his husband pulled him in for a long passionate kiss. For both it felt like they had married for the first time.

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The reception was a huge event under the great tents set up. Hundreds of roses and lilies decorated the tables and the best catering service had been brought in. The coloring was done in red and green to honour both husbands. Narcissa amazed Harry with how much she pulled together in two weeks.

She smiled when Harry thanked her for this. "My pleasure. You mean so much to my son as well as Severus and Lucius, I was only happy to do this for you."

The Weasleys were next in the receiving line and Molly was crying. "I'm so happy for you two. I love you like a son and I am so glad you've found happiness here."

Harry was glad when the receiving line ended and the reception began. Neither he nor his husband was much for dancing but they took their places on the dance floor for the traditional first dance.

Harry turned to Severus as they walked onto the floor. "What song did you select for this dance?"

Severus smiled. "God bless the broken road."

Harry had never heard the American country music song before but as the words played he knew they were so true for them. A broken road with twists and turns but that still seemed to lead a direct path into the arms of the one he loved. As Harry danced in his husband's arms he knew they were those words.

There was dinner and a cake, gifts, all the normal trappings of a wedding. There was even a huge fire work display that was put on by the Weasley twins when the sun finally went below the horizon and the stars came out.

Harry stood with his husband's arms wrapped about him as he looked at the show. "A perfect ending to a perfect wedding." Harry said.

Severus had to agree. "Though those twins have never been my favourite students, I must say they do put on an incredible show."

Harry turned to look at his husband. "Do you think we could escape from the party yet?"

Severus tried to sound as serious as possible. "You want to leave this amazing party already? What ever for?"

Harry pulled him down gently for a kiss and when they came back up for air. "I thought we could start our honeymoon."

Severus needed no further prompting and after saying their thanks and goodbyes to the guests and everyone they headed off. They went no further then the east wing of the manor where they had been given a suite of room for the night. They were actually going off on a real honeymoon finally, to France, the next day.

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Severus stood in front of Harry, both dressed only in their trousers now. They had come up for air having been undressing and kissing passionately. He looked into his husband's eyes.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked gently.

Harry nodded without hesitation. "I want you to make love to me tonight. No stopping, no holding back, tonight I want all of you."

Severus gently lowered his mouth to the base of his husband's neck and gently nibbled on it as he led his husband back towards the bed and back onto it. He wanted so much to ravish his husband's body after this wait but he was going to relish every last moment of it. His lips moved down his husband until he came to his nipples which he gently began to suck on until they became hard and gentle moans came from Harry's throat in response.

He moved to Harry's belly button which he began to dip his tongue in and out of, feeling under their trousers, Harry's rising errection. He swiftly unbuttoned his husband's trousers and pulled them and the boxers free, and discarded his own.

For a moment he looked down on his husband's perfect body just drinking in the sight before he lowered his mouth over his husband's erection and began licking and teasing it, Harry's hands gripping him by the hair and guiding him to move up and down it, desperate for release. When Harry had cummed, Severus moved back up to the head of the bed and took his husband's mouth to his, his tongue sliding in, gently exploring.

Pulling away he looked at Harry. "Are you sure you're ready?"

Harry was panting from it already. "Yes."

Severus took some of the gel from the bedside table and slowly with a finger rubbed some in the entrance of Harry. Gently lifting Harry to give him easier access he slowly moved into his husband. There was no protests or cries from Harry this time. As he began to slowly at first but with growing speed piston inside of his husband, deeper and deeper until he hit his husband's soft spot, Harry wrapped his legs around him and began moving with him. With Harry's movements Severus came to an intense climax at the same time as his husband.

Slowly he removed himself from his husband and lay down on the pillows next to him but Harry was about to repay the pleasure. Harry moved to his husband and Severus' eyes snapped open as he felt his husband's teeth gently biting into the flesh of his neck and tongue running down his chest, his mouth tugging Sev's nipples into his mouth and making them harden. He had taught the boy too well he though as he groaned in pleasure. Harry's hand moved to Sev's penis as he was making work on his neck and gently stroked at first and then was soon pumping it. He brought his mouth down over the end just before his husband reached release, allowing Sev's juices to fill his mouth.

For the first time in his life Harry prepared to enter a man himself. Severus wasn't sure he would do it until he felt Harry gently sliding inside of him. It took a few moments for Harry to get used to it but he slowly started pistoning inside of his husband and when Severus wrapped his legs about Harry and helped Harry into a steady pace, Harry lost himself in the motion and soon reached an intense climax as did his husband as well.

As they lay side by side panting when Harry slid from inside of him Severus gently cupped his face. "I love you."

Harry kissed him before he responded. "I know you do."

Severus watched as Harry turned to grab something from the bedside table. "What are you doing?"

Harry handed him a small package. "Your wedding gift. I was thinking of a potions book but Lucius and Draco helped me pick something far more special."

Severus unwrapped the paper and found to his shock a small platinum baby rattle with the Snape and Potter crests on it. It was like one that most pureblood children received when they were born.

"Harry?"

Harry kissed him. "I know you want kids. I'm not ready yet, I need to finish school but I wanted to make sure you knew I am willing and happy to give you them. When the time is right I will with all of my heart, give you the children you have wanted so long."

Severus was shocked. "Harry, you have no idea how much this means to me."

Harry kissed him. "I do. I know how much it means to both of us. Though we'll have to discuss this idea of naming our first born after Lucius."

Severus laughed as he realized Lucius had told Harry all of that conversation. "It was just Lucius' idea. I think I could be persuaded on another name."

They put aside the gift and Severus pulled Harry to him, intent on another round again. Harry was happy to allow Severus to take control again, though he had needed to experience the top as well. he would much rather be where he was, looking up into the eyes of the man he loved.


End file.
